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When Tim moved from England to the United States and married the woman of his dreams, he knew there would be challenges. He wasn't expecting relapsing MS to be one of them. Follow Tim on his journey as he balances many roles in life: husband, father, ambassador, and writer.
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This journal reflects the personal experience of one person and others can be different. It is best to contact your physician to discus what’s best for you. Tim is an MS LifeLines Ambassador and has chosen to share his story with others living with MS. MS LifeLines and MS LifeLines Ambassadors are sponsored by EMD Serono and Pfizer.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Finding Balance (How I Live Well with Relapsing Multiple Sclerosis)
For me, finding balance has always been a large obstacle to achieving health and happiness. Before I ever had MS, like many other young men I struggled to find the right balance between work and home, self indulgence and family, etc. Then, just when I'd finally seemed to get all that figured out, along comes the BIG ONE to deal with - diagnosis with a relapsing form of multiple sclerosis.
If it's hard to put work and life in balance what the heck are you supposed to do when you have an incurable chronic disease? Needless to say, the pendulum pretty much swung entirely over to the MS side. Balance? Not so much. While I largely managed to continue the physical aspects of everyday life, emotionally I was consumed by MS. I guess it's going to take time for anybody to get through the five stages of grief, but six months later, I still had not achieved balance.
If my life was a teeter totter, MS would have been a 300 pound NFL offensive lineman sitting on one end and happiness, family, and perspective would have been the little kid way up in the air with his legs dangling. Fortunately, I discovered that making this kind of adjustment is exactly what counselors specialize in. Therapy is not so much about fixing your psyche but about helping you adjust to reality and, you guessed it, finding balance.
It took a while, but in the end I got back to normal life and put the MS lineman on that teeter totter on a diet. I think the easiest way to describe my view of healthy balance is this - I now simply manage my MS and live my life. I don't live my MS or even put it in the same sentence.
If it's hard to put work and life in balance what the heck are you supposed to do when you have an incurable chronic disease? Needless to say, the pendulum pretty much swung entirely over to the MS side. Balance? Not so much. While I largely managed to continue the physical aspects of everyday life, emotionally I was consumed by MS. I guess it's going to take time for anybody to get through the five stages of grief, but six months later, I still had not achieved balance.
If my life was a teeter totter, MS would have been a 300 pound NFL offensive lineman sitting on one end and happiness, family, and perspective would have been the little kid way up in the air with his legs dangling. Fortunately, I discovered that making this kind of adjustment is exactly what counselors specialize in. Therapy is not so much about fixing your psyche but about helping you adjust to reality and, you guessed it, finding balance.
It took a while, but in the end I got back to normal life and put the MS lineman on that teeter totter on a diet. I think the easiest way to describe my view of healthy balance is this - I now simply manage my MS and live my life. I don't live my MS or even put it in the same sentence.
Posted by: Tim, Friday, July 31, 2009
