Email a Friend
Print ArticleTim's Journal
When Tim moved from England to the United States and married the woman of his dreams, he knew there would be challenges. He wasn't expecting relapsing MS to be one of them. Follow Tim on his journey as he balances many roles in life: husband, father, ambassador, and writer.
The following is a Sponsored Resource. The sponsor of this content has sole editorial control.
Sponsored by
This journal reflects the personal experience of one person and others can be different. It is best to contact your physician to discus what’s best for you. Tim is an MS LifeLines Ambassador and has chosen to share his story with others living with MS. MS LifeLines and MS LifeLines Ambassadors are sponsored by EMD Serono and Pfizer.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Me, My Wife and My Relapsing Multiple Sclerosis - How MS Has Impacted My Relationship
"Me, my wife, and my relapsing MS." It's a simple enough phrase, but painfully accurate. I hate to include MS in a phrase describing my relationship, but sadly it does reflect reality once one of its members has been diagnosed with a relapsing form of MS. Certainly, even if you were unwise enough to consider a ménage a trois, MS would certainly not be the third partner you'd choose!
In fact, when I was first diagnosed, MS pretty much took over our relationship completely. Initially, neither of us could think about anything else. It was just too big to put into perspective - the elephant in the room. However, my wife started adjusting to our new reality much sooner than me. Even though I went on treatment and was feeling physically fine, I just couldn't get past my diagnosis. I wallowed in self pity and became very hard to live with.
In the end, my wife had had enough. And frankly, I couldn't stand myself or how I was feeling. She suggested (quite firmly as I recall) that we get some counseling. A couples therapist thought that the problem didn't lie in our relationship, but that I needed individual counseling to help me adjust to my condition. Thankfully, he was right and I was able to come to terms with my disease. Three and a half years on, we're still happily married and fast approaching our 16th anniversary.
In fact, when I was first diagnosed, MS pretty much took over our relationship completely. Initially, neither of us could think about anything else. It was just too big to put into perspective - the elephant in the room. However, my wife started adjusting to our new reality much sooner than me. Even though I went on treatment and was feeling physically fine, I just couldn't get past my diagnosis. I wallowed in self pity and became very hard to live with.
In the end, my wife had had enough. And frankly, I couldn't stand myself or how I was feeling. She suggested (quite firmly as I recall) that we get some counseling. A couples therapist thought that the problem didn't lie in our relationship, but that I needed individual counseling to help me adjust to my condition. Thankfully, he was right and I was able to come to terms with my disease. Three and a half years on, we're still happily married and fast approaching our 16th anniversary.
Posted by: Tim, Wednesday, September 30, 2009
