Children Need To Feel Safe, Too!
At Safety4Kids, our concerns for children's safety cover a wide range of topics; many of them are tangible--the things we can all see. We want children to wear a helmet when riding a bike and we want parents to be vigilant when their kids are in a swimming pool. But what about the safety issues that are harder to see? Here is Sheila Josephson to share her perspective. Sheila will frequently be offering her expertise as a therapist, as we address issues of concern in the area of emotional safety.
Sheila's View On Emotional Safety for Children.
"Bless the beasts and the children, for in this world they have no voice, they have no choice...Light their way when the darkness surrounds them, and give them love, let it shine all around them".
Emotional safety for children--what does that mean and how do we, as parents, achieve it?
Children have no voice--they have no way of dealing with the world without our help. In a loving environment they thrive and develop emotional maturity but without guidance, love and acceptance, they can grow up fearful, lonely and without hope for their future.
It's difficult to define emotional safety; it is different for each of us as adults. It's different for each child, too. However, the one common thread is how a child feels about himself--his self-esteem or self-respect. It's the sense of his worth or importance in the world.
This feeling of being someone who is respected and loved is difficult to achieve for all of us, especially children, who don't have the emotional tools to acquire this sense on their own. In fact, their world is oftentimes a scary place, filled with complex challenges, such as making friends, doing well in school, overcoming fears of the unknown. Helping them is an enormous task--one of the most difficult task any parent has. It is challenging and rewarding at the same time--seeing your child's face when you've helped him through a life task is indescribable. The reward is enormous.
But how do we help build self-esteem in our children? Through praising them when they've done a task well, teaching them important life lessons, encouraging them in their efforts to learn and supporting them in their struggles when things are difficult for them.
And perhaps the most important of all--showing them how much they are loved.
There are two ways of teaching children--with praise or with criticism. Praise builds self-esteem; criticism makes children feel hopeless and inept. For example, if a child has a particular difficulty learning to read, it is wretched for him to hear that reading is easy and he's stupid if he can't learn. Watching his face light up when you've praised him for reading his first word is priceless. The same happens when he has used the potty for the first time or he has helped with the new baby without seeming jealous. Each time your child hears your praise, he feels a sense of accomplishment and love. Without it, he doesn't learn to negotiate life with ease and a strong sense of self.
Parenting seems overwhelming at times, especially when we are sleep deprived, worrying about finding a job or looking for child care. But we all want the best for our children. Being patient and taking the time to teach our children through praise and encouragement will go a very long way toward ensuring them a happy and productive life. And we all want that in the end.
"Bless the Beasts and the Children" by Barry De Vorzon and Perry L. Botkin
Lyrics@ EMI Publishing
Sheila's View On Emotional Safety for Children.
"Bless the beasts and the children, for in this world they have no voice, they have no choice...Light their way when the darkness surrounds them, and give them love, let it shine all around them".
Emotional safety for children--what does that mean and how do we, as parents, achieve it?
Children have no voice--they have no way of dealing with the world without our help. In a loving environment they thrive and develop emotional maturity but without guidance, love and acceptance, they can grow up fearful, lonely and without hope for their future.
It's difficult to define emotional safety; it is different for each of us as adults. It's different for each child, too. However, the one common thread is how a child feels about himself--his self-esteem or self-respect. It's the sense of his worth or importance in the world.
This feeling of being someone who is respected and loved is difficult to achieve for all of us, especially children, who don't have the emotional tools to acquire this sense on their own. In fact, their world is oftentimes a scary place, filled with complex challenges, such as making friends, doing well in school, overcoming fears of the unknown. Helping them is an enormous task--one of the most difficult task any parent has. It is challenging and rewarding at the same time--seeing your child's face when you've helped him through a life task is indescribable. The reward is enormous.
But how do we help build self-esteem in our children? Through praising them when they've done a task well, teaching them important life lessons, encouraging them in their efforts to learn and supporting them in their struggles when things are difficult for them.
And perhaps the most important of all--showing them how much they are loved.
There are two ways of teaching children--with praise or with criticism. Praise builds self-esteem; criticism makes children feel hopeless and inept. For example, if a child has a particular difficulty learning to read, it is wretched for him to hear that reading is easy and he's stupid if he can't learn. Watching his face light up when you've praised him for reading his first word is priceless. The same happens when he has used the potty for the first time or he has helped with the new baby without seeming jealous. Each time your child hears your praise, he feels a sense of accomplishment and love. Without it, he doesn't learn to negotiate life with ease and a strong sense of self.
Parenting seems overwhelming at times, especially when we are sleep deprived, worrying about finding a job or looking for child care. But we all want the best for our children. Being patient and taking the time to teach our children through praise and encouragement will go a very long way toward ensuring them a happy and productive life. And we all want that in the end.
"Bless the Beasts and the Children" by Barry De Vorzon and Perry L. Botkin
Lyrics@ EMI Publishing
2 Comments:
This advice is wise, heartwarming, and utterly essential. I applaud Dr. Josephson, I hope many mothers read this, and I eagerly await her next blog.
What a beautiful post. So moving and so true.
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