Helicopter Moms...Very Special Hover Crafts!
When my friend Vivian first mentioned "Helicopter Moms" I thought she was referring to women pilots. Seems it has more to do with hovering, than hover crafts. When it comes to your child's safety, it's sometimes hard to know when enough is enough.
Is That A Chopper I Hear?
If you've ever checked out the message boards at urbanbaby, you've heard the term "helicopter mom" or "helicopter dad" which refers to those moms and dads who hover constantly over their kids. The term creates a fantastic visual if you let your mind wander.
I'm pretty sure no one thinks of themselves as a helicopter mom, sort of like no one thinks of themselves as mean.
I am proud to say I am a recovering helicopter mom. When I take Benjamin to the playground, my instincts tell me to follow him, catch him, prevent him from getting even the tiniest boo-boo (or boof as we like to call it in our house. FYI a bad boof is called a boof-tastrophy.) But I fight the urge to the best of my ability because I know that, if I'm not careful, my anxieties (of which there are many) will become his anxieties and I don't want him to feel too scared to explore. So while my mind is hovering like crazy, I try to take control of my inner helicopter and leave it parked safely on the ground.
Don't get me wrong. Ben will wear a helmet when he's ready to ride a bike, and I don't imagine I'll let him drive until he's 33 or 34, but while he's just 2 1/2, I'm going to let him go down the slide head first, get gross NYC sand-park sand in his hair, and run through the sprinkler with his shoes off.
(c) Image courtesy of Vivian Connolly.
Is That A Chopper I Hear?If you've ever checked out the message boards at urbanbaby, you've heard the term "helicopter mom" or "helicopter dad" which refers to those moms and dads who hover constantly over their kids. The term creates a fantastic visual if you let your mind wander.
I'm pretty sure no one thinks of themselves as a helicopter mom, sort of like no one thinks of themselves as mean.
I am proud to say I am a recovering helicopter mom. When I take Benjamin to the playground, my instincts tell me to follow him, catch him, prevent him from getting even the tiniest boo-boo (or boof as we like to call it in our house. FYI a bad boof is called a boof-tastrophy.) But I fight the urge to the best of my ability because I know that, if I'm not careful, my anxieties (of which there are many) will become his anxieties and I don't want him to feel too scared to explore. So while my mind is hovering like crazy, I try to take control of my inner helicopter and leave it parked safely on the ground.
Don't get me wrong. Ben will wear a helmet when he's ready to ride a bike, and I don't imagine I'll let him drive until he's 33 or 34, but while he's just 2 1/2, I'm going to let him go down the slide head first, get gross NYC sand-park sand in his hair, and run through the sprinkler with his shoes off.
(c) Image courtesy of Vivian Connolly.
1 Comments:
I've never heard of the term helicopter parents being used for parents of little kids. As a parent of an adult, a college freshman and a preteen, I hear it a lot in conjunction with kids going off to college.
My husband is a hoverer; I'm not. I think a lot had to do with the way we were raised -- I was raised to be more independent of my parents and he was raised to be checking in with mom every couple of days and hanging out with the family.
I see up and downsides to both ways. If there's balance in the 'hovering', great. But if there's not, kids can feel stifled, overwatched and fearful, I think.
My son is clueless at age 18. Things that he should be doing for himself, he's not. I'm convinced it's because Dad stepped in for him way too much, maybe to compensate for his ADHD and somewhat difficult social skills earlier in life. Now Mom has stepped up and is making him deal with those basics that you'd think every kid would know by now...
So hovering...may not be such a good thing.
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