"The Best of Friends Party" A Family's Farewell to Their...Nanny!
One of the most important relationships your child may have is with his/her nanny. At Safety4Kids we are always on the lookout for positive stories that reinforce our messages of safety and wellness for young children, and of course, their parents. One of our blogging contributors, Jill Starishevsky, founder of HowsMyNanny.com, offers a heartwarming story about her friend's experience with her daughter's nanny. It reminds us all that in this often unsafe world, there are still wonderful people making a positive difference in a child's life.
And it's nice to offer some good news!
First Jill, then her friend Ellen's story.
Friday was a glorious day in the city. I found myself in Central Park at an event that was a first for me. It was a nanny going away party. My girlfriend's daughter has matriculated into the daycare/pre-K set and will be starting school on Monday. Thrilled with the incredible care her child received thus far from her wonderful nanny, she threw a little party for her nanny and dubbed it "The best of friends party".
The chocolate cake bore that inscription and several of the nannies attended the get together with their charges. Each child seemed so comfortable with one another's caretaker. The children, who happened to be all girls, were all almost two years old and ran around the park giggling as the nannies chased after them. The party was similar to a bridal shower as the mom, flanked by her own parents, took Polaroid pictures of each set of nanny and child then pasted them into a little book and had each nanny write a message to their friend who was going away. There were small gifts and some tears, but overall the moment was quite charming.
As the founder of HowsMyNanny.com, I am often asked how to cultivate such loving relationships between parent and nanny and nanny and child. I often refrain from giving specific advice as I believe each case is different. But I thought everyone could learn something from this family. So I asked my girlfriend, Ellen, to tell me some of the things she did to cultivate the relationship and make it such a successful one.
Here's what Ellen had to say:
When I set out to interview nannies, I had an elaborate plan in mind. I prepared a detailed list of questions and knew to be aware of instinct. These are some of the questions I asked:
1. Tell me about your experience working with children.
2. What age groups have you worked with before? How do you feel about working with a newborn? A toddler?
3. Do you have any education or training in childcare? (also just regarding their education level)
4. Do you have children of your own?
5. Tell me about your previous jobs as a nanny? How long did you work with families? What were your responsibilities?
6. What kind of activities did you do with the children? What did you enjoy most or least about your positions?
7. If i spoke to your references, what would they say about you?
8. What are you looking for from a family? Employer?
9. Describe how you see spending a typical day with infant? A toddler?
10. How would you set limits?
11. How would you handle discipline? How would you reward positive behavior?
12. How would you handle a crying baby?
13. What do you see as your primary responsibility with my child?
14. What are you expectations?
15. Discuss flexibility of schedule, overtime, vacation, sick time, etc.
16. What other responsibilities do you have outside of your job? (i.e. family, church, etc.)
17. Discuss getting CPR/first-aid training.
18. Discuss criminal history.
I also had nannies actually hold Mollie, play with her and READ a story; this told me a lot about language, communication and warmth. (if a nanny arrived wearing perfume or excessive make-up, they never got to this stage of the interview)
The biggest thing that made my relationship with Harriette work was COMMUNICATION. We were very open with each other. Expectations were clear, and there were no secrets. To that end, I gave her a detailed care sheet that listed her duties and responsibilities.
We respected each other a great deal. She had a way of guiding me and offering suggestions without forgetting that I was the mother.
When I decided it was time to place Mollie in school, it was very important to me that Harriette find another family. I sent an email all my friends letting them know that a great nanny was about to become available. I wrote her a letter of recommendation and Harriette found another family within the week. We will miss her, we're so grateful for the care she gave our daughter each day.
We say, great job all around Ellen, Harriette, Mollie and of course our friend Jill. We would love to hear more stories like theirs. Please post a comment and let us know if you've had an experience with your child's nanny that's worthy of "The Best of Friends Party".
And it's nice to offer some good news!
First Jill, then her friend Ellen's story.
Friday was a glorious day in the city. I found myself in Central Park at an event that was a first for me. It was a nanny going away party. My girlfriend's daughter has matriculated into the daycare/pre-K set and will be starting school on Monday. Thrilled with the incredible care her child received thus far from her wonderful nanny, she threw a little party for her nanny and dubbed it "The best of friends party".
The chocolate cake bore that inscription and several of the nannies attended the get together with their charges. Each child seemed so comfortable with one another's caretaker. The children, who happened to be all girls, were all almost two years old and ran around the park giggling as the nannies chased after them. The party was similar to a bridal shower as the mom, flanked by her own parents, took Polaroid pictures of each set of nanny and child then pasted them into a little book and had each nanny write a message to their friend who was going away. There were small gifts and some tears, but overall the moment was quite charming.As the founder of HowsMyNanny.com, I am often asked how to cultivate such loving relationships between parent and nanny and nanny and child. I often refrain from giving specific advice as I believe each case is different. But I thought everyone could learn something from this family. So I asked my girlfriend, Ellen, to tell me some of the things she did to cultivate the relationship and make it such a successful one.
Here's what Ellen had to say:
When I set out to interview nannies, I had an elaborate plan in mind. I prepared a detailed list of questions and knew to be aware of instinct. These are some of the questions I asked:
1. Tell me about your experience working with children.
2. What age groups have you worked with before? How do you feel about working with a newborn? A toddler?
3. Do you have any education or training in childcare? (also just regarding their education level)
4. Do you have children of your own?
5. Tell me about your previous jobs as a nanny? How long did you work with families? What were your responsibilities?
6. What kind of activities did you do with the children? What did you enjoy most or least about your positions?
7. If i spoke to your references, what would they say about you?
8. What are you looking for from a family? Employer?
9. Describe how you see spending a typical day with infant? A toddler?
10. How would you set limits?
11. How would you handle discipline? How would you reward positive behavior?
12. How would you handle a crying baby?
13. What do you see as your primary responsibility with my child?
14. What are you expectations?
15. Discuss flexibility of schedule, overtime, vacation, sick time, etc.
16. What other responsibilities do you have outside of your job? (i.e. family, church, etc.)
17. Discuss getting CPR/first-aid training.
18. Discuss criminal history.
I also had nannies actually hold Mollie, play with her and READ a story; this told me a lot about language, communication and warmth. (if a nanny arrived wearing perfume or excessive make-up, they never got to this stage of the interview)
The biggest thing that made my relationship with Harriette work was COMMUNICATION. We were very open with each other. Expectations were clear, and there were no secrets. To that end, I gave her a detailed care sheet that listed her duties and responsibilities.
We respected each other a great deal. She had a way of guiding me and offering suggestions without forgetting that I was the mother.
When I decided it was time to place Mollie in school, it was very important to me that Harriette find another family. I sent an email all my friends letting them know that a great nanny was about to become available. I wrote her a letter of recommendation and Harriette found another family within the week. We will miss her, we're so grateful for the care she gave our daughter each day.
We say, great job all around Ellen, Harriette, Mollie and of course our friend Jill. We would love to hear more stories like theirs. Please post a comment and let us know if you've had an experience with your child's nanny that's worthy of "The Best of Friends Party".
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