MySpace and Internet Safety
In all of the hoopla surrounding the latest internet safety measures undertaken by MySpace and Facebook, and spearheaded by our legislators, has anyone stopped to ask why so many children seek community online instead of...oh I don't know...in their REAL community? What happened to getting together with friends in person, rather than texting them, emailing them, chatting online in groups or other forms of electronic communication?
Uh-oh, I sound like my parents. The truth is, I have a Facebook page. There, I've admitted it. And it's true that as a result, I now communicate with certain family members I otherwise speak with only on Thanksgiving. And a very dear friend and I now engage in voracious Scrabulous. So I get it. And I like it. But as a parent I worry.
So clearly the only way to ensure our kids' safety is to be vigilant as parents and to be sure there are safe options out there. At Safety4Kids we applaud the attorneys general and their actions. With our partners at The Creative Coalition, we inaugurated The National Task Force on Children's Safety on Capitol Hill with the goal of ultimately impacting legislation as it regards children's safety. And not just online. But that was an important part of our summit and continues to be a priority for us.
And while we're on the subject of Internet Safety, I'm going to post "SeeMore's Safety Browser" again. We designed this (using the characters from our public television show, SeeMore's Playhouse), to protect your young children when they want to play online like their older siblings. It puts the controls in your hands, allows you to add sites you like and gives you peace of mind when your kids are playing--they can't break away from these parent-approved sites and wind up in unsafe territory. Peace of mind. Now that's a rare commodity these days.
Click on the image below to download our free "SeeMore's Safety Browser".
Be Safe!
(c) Safety4Kids, LLC
Uh-oh, I sound like my parents. The truth is, I have a Facebook page. There, I've admitted it. And it's true that as a result, I now communicate with certain family members I otherwise speak with only on Thanksgiving. And a very dear friend and I now engage in voracious Scrabulous. So I get it. And I like it. But as a parent I worry.
So clearly the only way to ensure our kids' safety is to be vigilant as parents and to be sure there are safe options out there. At Safety4Kids we applaud the attorneys general and their actions. With our partners at The Creative Coalition, we inaugurated The National Task Force on Children's Safety on Capitol Hill with the goal of ultimately impacting legislation as it regards children's safety. And not just online. But that was an important part of our summit and continues to be a priority for us.
And while we're on the subject of Internet Safety, I'm going to post "SeeMore's Safety Browser" again. We designed this (using the characters from our public television show, SeeMore's Playhouse), to protect your young children when they want to play online like their older siblings. It puts the controls in your hands, allows you to add sites you like and gives you peace of mind when your kids are playing--they can't break away from these parent-approved sites and wind up in unsafe territory. Peace of mind. Now that's a rare commodity these days.
Click on the image below to download our free "SeeMore's Safety Browser".
Be Safe!
(c) Safety4Kids, LLC
18 Comments:
The main issue I find is people fear their kids meeting strangers on MySpace. The thing is, if you teach your kids to not talk to strangers online as well as in real life, there shouldn't be an issue. Keep an eye on what your kids are doing and there shouldn't be a problem. Kids on MySpace under a certain age are automatically made private profiles. You can set these up so the people who wish to be added as your friend must provide your last name or email address to even contact you.
MySpace is VERY safe if your kids follow smart actions. No one is making them accept these friend invites from stranges and no one is making them search for boys/girls to meet. If it is strictly real life friends and family members they are connecting with, there IS no risk.
Only other problem I've encounted is people using MySpace with either Internet Explorer or without anykind of Spyware of Adware protection. My SO is a computer technician and encounters these infections all the time because people don't use proper internet safety. It is easily avoidable, its just about being responsible.
I absolutly agree with hoodsy. I will admit that myspace is not the tradional form of comunication amoung kids these dayz, but times have definatley changed, and this is exactly what they are into. It has become all the rave, and rightfully soo, becuz it is their own personal space, hence the name myspace, here they can truly express themselves without judgement amoungst thir piers. While i do admit the dangers are, & there are definatle ways around all of that, by keep the family computer in the family room where everyone congregates, and making sure the profile is priveted for friends and family only, and not to except invites from stranges, becuz we all know that there are petifiles always lurking, and on top of that , I myself have a Myspace with my kids on my page and I can montitor everything they do and I also can keep in touch with out of state nieces and nephew whom i might never talk too. so I think it is a very safe and fun place used with procaution.
Thanks for listening. Tracy
The reason kids jump on myspace and other sites, is because they are so limited in what they can do in real life. When kids aren't allowed to go past the mail box it gets a little hard to make friends in the neighborhood. Everyone one is worried that their child is going to be the next kid missing on the news. Kids are put into a ton of after school activities, and don't have anytime to feel like they are in control of something. My space is kinda the "last frontier" for kids to do something that they're parents have no control over.
I fear MySpace and I'm an older adult-a grandparent actually. If it's all that safe then why are we hearing so much about it? I mean if there are sign's in the water that shark's are present, then why allow your children to swim? Because they are smart and responsible? Because you are not responsible or need to be? I don't think so! The responsible thing to do is-not allow them access to the site. If you don't allow them into the water, then theres little chance they'll be bit, marred for life or worse, right? Theres a common rule people seem to forget: "If ever you know you can prevent a potential problem, then don't let them swim just because they'll get mad." We're supposedly here to teach-instead it seems, people are allowing themselves to be threatened or extorted by their children if they don't get their way. It's your life, but they'll not respect you later. Yeah-thats right: "Spare the rod-spoil the child."
Ok
I'm a teenager... and I have a facebook page. I'll admit, I go on about 3 times a day, at the very least, and I hate myself for it. It feels almost like an addiction, like once I'm on there, I just can't stop. The thing I also hate is when people send me a message on facebook instead of just calling me, especially when it pertains to plans for that evening. I feel like I can't really have an effective conversation with some people because they're almost afraid of talking on the phone and find it extremely awkward, so they just text or e-mail instead.
Like, there's this one guy, and you'd think for the amount of time we talk online that we'd be like best friends, but he rarely says more than a few words to me at school. I've confronted him on the issue, but he just gets mad.
Truly, I think social networking sites are more trouble than they're worth. If kept under control they're a nice way to keep in touch with your friends, but I worry about future generations and the communication skills they will lack because it has become so easy to type what you want to say, which is a lot easier, especially if the issue is a touchy one.
I don't like my child on this site. My boyfriend and I both agree on this. I don't think this site should be aloud, because there are so many people out there that if one child puts in informatin about there living, address, phone number. etc. It only takes one time for a complete stanger to see this and that is it. They could be missing, raped or worse die. My child HAD a boyfriend and on his space all he talked about was sex, drugs, killing other people, guns. Now would you really wan't you child talking to someone like this? I think noe. Even if he was just joking around, you don't joke about killing someone.
Ok, this is what I'm referring to...
People, if you keep an eye on your kids and KNOW what they are doing online, there isn't a risk. Unless of course your children are lying. If they are honest about their age, their page is automatically made private- meaning NO ONE CAN SEE IT. Also, as parents, it is your responsiblity to keep your computer and internet safe by having anti-virus, anti-spyware and adware protection! The kids can't go out and buy this, you are just as likely to infect your computer as your children are. Keep your internet secure, keep an eye on your kids, and there will be no issues.
If its to the point that your kids are using it secretly and not letting you know... well then you have other problems to address aside from MySpace...
People are scared of new things. These poor kids can't go out and play in the world anymore. Keep and eye on them and let them LIVE.
I am an Information Technology director. sucks for my kids in many ways and is good in others.
I have three boys 15, 14 and 10
10 year old only has internet access on his moms computer when she is present.
The 15 and 14 year old have computers in their rooms with internet access.
Now, here is where it gets a little intense. My sons computers are running Windows Vista and there are required to logon with their username and password. They are told NOT to share each others passwords and they are not to logon to any computer but there own computer with their own logon ID. They know if they do I will know and their computer privileges and anything else I deem near and dear to them will be taken away.
My home network is behind a configurable router that allows me to control access by computer. I can set days and times they have access, limit which web sites they go to and I get logs emailed to me everyday as to which web sites were access from my home network.
Each of the boys computers also has monitoring software installed that emails me detailed logs of email conversations, chat logs, myspace posts. It is also a key logger and logs every key stroke so I can capture logon id’s and passwords to any site they visit.
My wife and I review the email logs daily and monitor all communications in and out of our network.
Invasive? Maybe. My boys knew from day one that they are monitored. I told them I would not just allow any stranger to walk into my house and hang out without me knowing something about them. They know the rules. If they don’t want to be monitored they don’t have to use the network.
There have been a few times where have found the beginnings of inappropriate behavior, I disabled network access for a time, had a talk with my offending child and after a time gave access back.
I personally think it is a way to help them learn how to behave properly in society. Kind of allows them a certain amount of controlled freedom while still allowing me to monitor for possible predators and / or inappropriate acquaintances.
I think as along as a parent monitoring their children is above board and the children are aware of it there is nothing wrong with it.
You do have to be mature about the monitoring, sometimes you will see things that you want to say something about but for different reasons it is best to let go. I.E. need to pick the battles.
To summarize: My recommendation is if you have the ability to monitor everything coming in and out of the computers your kids use and you diligently monitor the activity, then I think allowing them access to Myspace, facebook and others sites can be beneficial.
If you don’t have the ability to monitor, or you do not have the stomach to monitor, then my advice, don’t have internet access at your house.
Oh, and a side note. Email, myspace and such as been the most effective tool to date for me to use a disciplinary measure.
One of my children is really hard headed, spankings never really worked to get his attention, if you took something from his room like his T.V. radio, guitar, anything, within a day he didn’t care anymore, grounding him never really worked because he doesn’t go out much anyway (his choice) however I intentionally allowed him to have mysapce and email because as an IT director I know how addicting it can be to people.
And I knew if he really got into myspace, chatting etc that I could use it as a tool and take it away as punishment.
So if his grades drop, internet is taken away, if he cops an attitude, internet is taken away. When it is taken away, his grades come up, his attitude improves greatly. Etc. So my plan from the beginning has worked well for my particular environment.
Hope this helps someone out there
Frontline (on PBS) is doing a special tonight on kids and online behavior. It looks like it's worth watching.
anonymous 8:21 on 1/21:
Forget MySpace, why would you let her see a boyfriend like that at all? Can you imagine what might have happened if he didn't have a MySpace and you had no idea what he was really thinking? In some respects, MySpace was your friend because it enabled you to know what was going on.
I don't want my kids afraid of the Internet. I want them to understand it. I think the safety4kids browser is a great thing for little kids
my comment got cut off --
I think the safety4kids browser is great for little kids but the only solution for the older ones is to a) understand the internet and myspace yourself; and b)set up safeguards that allow you to know what your kids are doing online at all times.
My son is 14 yrs. He set up hios account wrong..he failed to make it private. But his age was on there. my space allowed all types of people on. He did not have it set on private. all kind of gay men were sending photos etc! We went ahead and deleted his account. I was told it takes some time for it to be removed.
kKids are not naive today. Hell, they will find out how to change their setting in their account. It's easy. The more you tell them not to do "Bad" things, the more they WILL try to do the opposite. We teenagers think we know everything, and hate it when someone else tells us an opinion against our convinience. We think all we do is right, we think we're protected and that "it's" not going to happen to us.
Gullible. We shouldn't listen to people we aren't seeing in person. When we are proved wrong we try harder to deny it.
Kids are not stupid. Watch out for us. We are rebels, ready to kill before we are killed.
mad mom:
People aren't just added to your account. You have to ACCEPT them. Messages will come in as spam as well. They may not be directly looking for your child, its a mass produced email that they just send out to people. I get messages from people all the time. It is just spam. Same thing when we get spam email saying, "You could win $1 Million!" You just hit delete and don't read it...
I do respect peoples decisions to not use things such as this. I just feel the need to inform the uninformed...
Hoodsey,
I do think MySpace could do a better job with the spam issues. Facebook seems to have that under control, so it shouldn't be that big of a deal to do it for MySpace as well.
MadMom:
This is why you have to know how to set up a MySpace account yourself. You should create your own and then friend your son. If he has a problem with that, then he shouldn't be on MySpace.
My kids have all been told they have no presumption of privacy on the Internet as long as they're accessing it from my network and my router. I hold all of their passwords and if they dare change one, they're cut off until they give the new one to me. As long as I maintain the access and pay for it, they'll play by my rules or they won't be on the Internet.
They've been taught to keep their accounts private and to behave themselves. I've had situations where my teenage son tried to access sites he shouldn't have, and he felt the iron hand of mom on his access...so that doesn't happen anymore.
The Internet is a part of teens' social lives. I have no problem with that as long as they respect the boundaries, just as we'd expect with any other activity. When they go to the mall they're walking around with all sorts of people -- good, bad and indifferent. But they're taught to stay with friends, not to talk to people they don't know, and to be on their guard. As a result, you don't see a lot of stories on the evening news about predators on the mall.
The same is true of MySpace or Facebook or any other social network. You teach them the boundaries, you monitor the activity and you make sure you're as savvy as they are.
MySpace has me very concerned. Kids that are underage can pull up homosexuals and view their picture. These photos are not rated G ! My young teen son has viewed these... without my knowledge ..until today. Now I am very concerned over his sexuality.Does it make him pre gay? If ther is such a thing? Or is he just exploring? I sure do prefer the good old days when you had to sneak a penthouse mag.
This comment is for IT director- I like your ideas and Id like to find out what programs you use for the monitoring. I have set up my home network, but I have no formal training, just have a knack for read-and-learn. I have wanted monitoring and key-logger software...but I don't know what are fairly user-friendly programs. Any ideas?
Just want to clarify something below there is someone named mad mom, now I'm not trying to rip on him/her I just want to inform people that myspace is not a bad thing and being public is not a bad thing either. Just because a user's profile is set to public does not mean you get all the privileges of being their friend. You absolutely do not get to send messages or leave comments or anything similar to this unless you are their friend. So my guess is that your son was not being to careful and allowing these so called gay men on to his friends list and they were then able to access sending him messages and such. Another thing I would like to clarify is that yes there are predators on Myspace but as long as your careful and do not just willingly hand out your information to anyone you can safely and responsibly use Myspace
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