Email a Friend
Print Article
Parents - Fear Predators, Not Safety
As I mentioned in my last post, Pattie Fitzgerald, founder of Safely Ever After, Inc., was a member of the Safety Panel at Baby Celebration, L.A. Pattie was among those surprised and concerned by the lack of interest on the topic of safety among parents. Here's what she had to say.
Note to Parents: No Need to Fear "Safety"
If knowledge is power, why then are so many parents reluctant to learn how to keep their kids safe from child predators? In the last few weeks I set off to find the answer to this burning question after participating on a Q&A safety panel with other safety experts, including Nancy Davis, resident blogger for Safety4Kids, at an event in Los Angeles.
The answers I found aren't particularly earth-shattering nor surprising, but they did make me realize that most parents are still in the dark about the realities of childhood sexual abuse and subsequently, how they can protect their kids from becoming victimized by a molester's tricks.
So...why are parents reluctant to learn about predator safety? Here are a few of the most recurrent comments parents shared with me (and my responses!):
1. We've already talked to our kids about stranger-danger, so we've covered this.
The truth is 90 percent of childhood sexual abuse doesn't happen by a "stranger". More often than not, it's someone the kids know. And, equally important, most kids don't have a clear idea of who a stranger is. Anyone who smiles and introduces themselves to a child, perhaps offering an enticing treat of some kind, may no longer be viewed as a "stranger" by that child.
2. We don't want to scare our kids, so we'd rather not bring up the issue at all.
I hear ya on the first part of that, but not the second part! There are plenty of ways that parents can empower kids with safety skills and concepts using effective, kid-friendly language, AND without ever using scary stories or fear tactics. Parents teach their kids about fire safety, pool safety, even safety about crossing the street all the time. You haven't made the kids terrified of swimming pools or cars, you just gave them clear guidelines. It's the same with teaching kids about "good touch/bad touch".
3. It's going to be too depressing, we just don't want to "go there".
Denial isn't going to make the problem go away or keep our kids safe. The good news is that by focusing on positive ways to talk to children, you can protect your kids without ever hitting a doom and gloom note or wallowing in depressing statistics.
As a Child Safety Educator, it's my job to help parents and caregivers teach their kids effective "safe-smarts rules" that work. It's as easy as 1...2...3!
So if you happen to be at an event that includes a FREE presentation in safety...come and check us out. It's a whole lot easier (and definitely less scary) than you might think.
Note to Parents: No Need to Fear "Safety"
If knowledge is power, why then are so many parents reluctant to learn how to keep their kids safe from child predators? In the last few weeks I set off to find the answer to this burning question after participating on a Q&A safety panel with other safety experts, including Nancy Davis, resident blogger for Safety4Kids, at an event in Los Angeles.The answers I found aren't particularly earth-shattering nor surprising, but they did make me realize that most parents are still in the dark about the realities of childhood sexual abuse and subsequently, how they can protect their kids from becoming victimized by a molester's tricks.
So...why are parents reluctant to learn about predator safety? Here are a few of the most recurrent comments parents shared with me (and my responses!):
1. We've already talked to our kids about stranger-danger, so we've covered this.
The truth is 90 percent of childhood sexual abuse doesn't happen by a "stranger". More often than not, it's someone the kids know. And, equally important, most kids don't have a clear idea of who a stranger is. Anyone who smiles and introduces themselves to a child, perhaps offering an enticing treat of some kind, may no longer be viewed as a "stranger" by that child.
2. We don't want to scare our kids, so we'd rather not bring up the issue at all.
I hear ya on the first part of that, but not the second part! There are plenty of ways that parents can empower kids with safety skills and concepts using effective, kid-friendly language, AND without ever using scary stories or fear tactics. Parents teach their kids about fire safety, pool safety, even safety about crossing the street all the time. You haven't made the kids terrified of swimming pools or cars, you just gave them clear guidelines. It's the same with teaching kids about "good touch/bad touch".
3. It's going to be too depressing, we just don't want to "go there".
Denial isn't going to make the problem go away or keep our kids safe. The good news is that by focusing on positive ways to talk to children, you can protect your kids without ever hitting a doom and gloom note or wallowing in depressing statistics.
As a Child Safety Educator, it's my job to help parents and caregivers teach their kids effective "safe-smarts rules" that work. It's as easy as 1...2...3!
So if you happen to be at an event that includes a FREE presentation in safety...come and check us out. It's a whole lot easier (and definitely less scary) than you might think.
6 Comments:
This post has been removed by the author.
This is an excellent article full of truth.
A St. Louis radio station, KMOX, just completed a special report on this top in March. It was a six part series by KMOX's Megan Lynch - They will Stop at Nothing - Child Predators.
Your article hits on some of the things mentioned in the radio report. You can listen to the podcasts of this series through either of the links I have provided below:
KMOX: They will Stop at Nothing - Child Predators
SNAP: They will Stop at Nothing - Child Predators
I hope this helps.
Yes you NEED to talk to your children to keep them safe, But don't you think that the clothes you are letting your children wear ane inviting predators. The clothes they are selling in the stores are much too provoctive for children and only invite trouble.
yes the problem is that that we have no limts on what our children wear and whom they be with that is why in Islam we call for hegab and for keeping boys and girls away from each other as much as we can since they are kids especially in matters of kids sharing beds when they are still young follow islamic rules in this issue even if you are not a muslim it realy works
This is an excellent article! I wish there had been more open dialogue when my children were young. My son was molested by an older cousin when he was 3, and my daughter was repeatedly molested and sexually abused by her stepbrother. He was the last person in the world I would have suspected, and still wonder what signs were there that I missed or overlooked. The stress it put on my marriage led to divorce, but the damage was done. My daughter suffers from chronic PTSD and has a hard time interacting with her own daughter because of her age now. She has become a trigger to the flashbacks my daughter is dealing with. I wish I knew what I missed seeing...he was a trusted babysitter and seemed to be a "good kid" but turned out to be a predator. It ISN'T always a stranger. It is usually the person who has won your trust where your child is concerned.
Parents definately need to be more aware of their children's surroundings, especially these days when kids are using the internet more than ever. Predators can be your next door neighbor or it can be someone who claims to be 10 years old in a chat room when in fact they are a 40 year old predator.
I've come across a new website which can keep your child safe on the internet while allowing them to be on the internet and chat with friends.
The website is http://www.safewave.org/.
This is what caught my eye:
"Parents need the confidence of knowing that when their child is interacting with another child online, that other individual is indeed a child. iLAND5 is the first and only online network that verifies a child’s identity and age through registration via his or her school. An easy and secure registration process validated by the school ensures each user is placed in an age-appropriate environment within iLAND5. SafeWave™’s unique verification process locks out adult predators, and also prevents age-inappropriate contact from other children."
If you have a child that is on the internet, I highly recommend this webpage. Both of my kids have signed up and they love it. They can chat with other kids their age, play games, etc just like on any other page except that I feel safe with them on this one.
Post a Comment