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Sexual Responsiveness and Masturbation
A very common reason for delayed ejaculation is this: Most men have their first orgasm through masturbation. Many men go on to have quite a few more orgasms by continuing to take matters into their own hands. And, many men exert much more pressure with their hands than they are likely to experience during intercourse. In doing so, they essentially train themselves to sexually respond to lots of pressure.
One reason young males use strong pressure during masturbation is they're often rushing to finish so they don't get caught. Then, as adults, they mistakenly think they need that same pressure to reach orgasm. I've had quite a few therapy clients learn to reach orgasm with a partner if they practice self-stimulation slowly and with much less pressure than usual. You can do this any time, whether you're with a partner or not. Of course, avoid self-stimulation just before you're likely to be sexual with another person.
"Working" at sex seldom works well - whether you're doing the working or being worked on. At the root of this approach to sex is the belief that there is a formula for how sex is supposed to go. This belief is one of the main reasons that people get into sexual difficulties. Formulas are essential to create chemical reactions, but they nearly always stymie sexual reactions.
Teach your partner how to stimulate you by hand in the way you like best. Many think that most men like the same things. While there tends to be some common characteristics, good sex can become great sex if subtle nuances and personal favorites are part of it.
This means that you'll want to be in a state of mind that welcomes the sexual sensations your partner is offering you. Set aside concerns about how you look as you become aroused. Luxuriate in the physical gifts you're getting moment by moment.
Related Topics: Dr Ruth Talks About Sex, Sexual Fitness for Men
One reason young males use strong pressure during masturbation is they're often rushing to finish so they don't get caught. Then, as adults, they mistakenly think they need that same pressure to reach orgasm. I've had quite a few therapy clients learn to reach orgasm with a partner if they practice self-stimulation slowly and with much less pressure than usual. You can do this any time, whether you're with a partner or not. Of course, avoid self-stimulation just before you're likely to be sexual with another person.
"Working" at sex seldom works well - whether you're doing the working or being worked on. At the root of this approach to sex is the belief that there is a formula for how sex is supposed to go. This belief is one of the main reasons that people get into sexual difficulties. Formulas are essential to create chemical reactions, but they nearly always stymie sexual reactions.
Teach your partner how to stimulate you by hand in the way you like best. Many think that most men like the same things. While there tends to be some common characteristics, good sex can become great sex if subtle nuances and personal favorites are part of it.
This means that you'll want to be in a state of mind that welcomes the sexual sensations your partner is offering you. Set aside concerns about how you look as you become aroused. Luxuriate in the physical gifts you're getting moment by moment.
Related Topics: Dr Ruth Talks About Sex, Sexual Fitness for Men
144 Comments:
Married 31 years and our sex life has definitely hit a new low. I have very low sex drive and have not been as responsive to my husband's sexual needs as I should.
He has been taking Viagra for a couple of years which helped in the beginning but lately he does't seem interested anymore.
Do men with ED need Viagra to masturbate or just to sustain an erection with a partner?
Viagra is not needed to masturbate.
It is only needed to get a firm
erection in order to penatrate the
womam,s vagina and remain firm
until intercouse is complete by
having an ejactulation.
How much masturbation is too much?
For guys, does too much masturbation lead to low sperm count or infertility? Even if 5-7 times weekly?
My husband was watching and paying for porn on the net. Litterally it almost cost our marriage. When he was going through his health problems, I stuck by him and never even considered going on the net and chatting with other men. He did with other women, and even gave them his office email. I am going through some health issues, and caught him. He said he didn't know what had gotten into him, he was never really sexual before me, and made me feel like I abandoned him.
Is there any natural way to enlarge a male's sex organ by eating certain foods or doing certain exercises, without using medicines such as Viagra?
Is there also another way to increase sex stamina naturally?
i am glad i read this page. having been diagnosed schizophrenic in 2000 i havent been even near a woman in years and none want me near them either. i felt completely alone with this problem of masturbation until now! i have had good sex (more than i remember but not a lot) and jerking off 3 times a day would come naturally to me had i not got neighbours. well what can i say this site is marvellous for the concerns of the modern man, not all of us are sexual lothario's, me neither and i have one question; can a schizophrenic possibly form a stable sexual relationship with anyone? i am willing to accept any woman at all!
Hi there,
nice and interesting blog to read.helped me alot. i got a problem,whenever i had with my finance.it take like 30-40 minutes for me to discharge,even i get tired after 20 mins and its a big embarrassment to take your penis out and relax and then start again or tell ur partner to help me discharge.my finance says its ok no need for embarrassment. but for me its alot of embarrassment .i have developer habit of masterbuating as my finance lives far from me in a very far city so we get together in a year or so.i wanna stop my masterbuate habit but its taken control of me.whenever i see i m alone n i see some hot babes.i jerk off.i wanna stop and n reduce my type for discharging in bed.its very tiring.hope u will find a way doctor.
Thanks,
Regards,
Julian
To Shane, the answer is yes, My husband was diagnoised schziophrenic 5 years into our marriage. We've been married for 25 years. It hasn't been easy, butit's never dull. Learning, and I mean really learning about your illness & triggers, and develop a well grounded communication with those you want to be with to help them understand goes a long, long way.
Esther
thank you to esther. i need the support. thanks again.
shane
is it unhealthy for a man to take it in the rear so to speak with an adult toy? not just now and then. im talking about 2 or 3 times a week. my girlfriend likes to use it on me.
ouch....
I've been masturbating for almost 10 years and I used to masturbate up to 5 times a day. And now that I'm masturbating a once a day or so, I feel my body is starting to show signs of strain, being I've noticed blood showing up in my seamen after ejaculation. Is there a way to stop masturbating for good?
I am young, 17, and have experienced ED. I don't think someone my age should be put on pills such as viagra and neither do the manufacturers (according to the fine print), so is there any natural stimulants or tricks to having a long lasting erection when u need it?
I was sexual abuse from age nine til 19, incest, i'm now 33 and have since forgiven my abuser, but I find myself enjoying watching male gay porn.. I love men, is that normal for a female to like watching male gay porn?
It's definitely normal and fine for a female to enjoy male gay porn. Men enjoy lesbian porn, and it's only natural the other way around. It's society's homophobia that makes people think it's not ok.
Frustrated said...been married twice. Sex with second is boring. At first I wanted to all the time, but he never seems to be interested. He can go for weeks without even having sex. Maybe he is cheating and thinking of someone else. Maybe we were not meant to be.Doesn't like to talk about sexual things even his pre-ejac. Worried and Unhappy
Ive been masturbating for about 4 years now, and i wanted to know if there was such a thing as too much masturbation because i really wouldnt want infertility or a low sperm count or my kids being born retarded or something(sorry about that if thats insulting) and getting some feedback would be nice please...wimokila@yahoo.comnvz
I am currently in a great relationship but as an adolescent I developed unhealthy/unnatural masterbating techniques (just like the article-too much pressure) I'm unable to have an orgasm during intercourse. I have to pull out and masterbate to achieve orgasm. This has to change, it's offending my partner and I'm concerned it will eventually ruin our relationship. Help!
can maturabtion over a period of time or excessive maturbation over a short period of time cause damage to the man's sexual reproductive system?
I have masterbated ever since thirteen years of age its seven years now, and I have had my full experience of having sex, but not even 2 minutes I have put my penis in my partners vagina I'm already getting close to ejaculating. Is this something i should worry about?
i'm 25 and for as long as i have been having sex (bout 7 yrs) and i've always had stamina problems. i can get a erection by bearly thinking about sex and once i finally get to the intercourse i can only last about a minute (with or without a condom) its very embarissing not to mention no fun. i've heard that smoking marijuana may cause that but never heard anything concret. if anyone has any input that'd be great.
I'm 17 and i was masturbating and i noticed blood showing up in my seamen after ejaculation i'm kinda worried and i dont know what i should do can any one send me some feed back please send it to kekun_aizaka@yahoo.com it whould be really helpfull
HI I'm 26 years old and my husband is 36, been married two years and expecting my husbands and my first child together. My husband and I have had a lot of problems just before we got married. We worked through most of it, but he blows off the rest. My husband seems to have a problem and I'm not sure how to convince him to talk to me aboutit. He would rather watch porno and masterbate then do anything with me.Even more so now since we got pregnant. Or he will always be the receiver and not do anything with me in return. He tells me its because he has a weight problem. But I really think he isn't intrested in me anymore. But I can never really get him to be open and honest with me. His communication skills about sex, just isn't there. He refuses to talk to me, and always blows me off. (Ignores me) and still doesn't want to be intimate with me. Does anyone have some advice on how I might be able to open the doors between my husband and I?
is there such a thing as being addicted to masturbation? i think i may be. is masturbating evrey 2-3 days un-normal? help!
Today I was in the shower washing my hair (I am a 20 year old male) i had just come from my girlfriends house from watching the passion of the christ and while in the shower i needed to pee and i went and I had Pre-Ejec and that has never happened before in my life i am really nervous and do not know what could that be. We werent doing anything sexual and I didnt even have an erection. Can anyone help or give any advice. On monday morning i am going to my doctors... Thanks
This is what is a major disappointment... my fiance cannot seem to reach a true climax from just vaginal sex - he has to be either stimulated A LOT by hand, or orally [and he usually only requests the oral once he's tried over and over to do it vaginally, which to me, is NOT the best time to give it]. We never had this problem before, it's something new - and it makes me think it must be ME. It's made me very depressed.
He says it's not me, that we just don't have enough foreplay. I evaluated our foreplay time, and it is so long that I get ready and then fall out of readiness, because it is so long as to become monotonous. That can't be good.
I know I am probably giving him a complex about it, but why SHOULDN'T he be thinking about it as much and from the same angle that I am? This really hurts. He seriously turns me on, but by the time he does anything, I am on the verge of tears... and left to fulfill myself [using him, not solo]... I want it to be BOTH of us enjoying it to climax, not just one of us. It takes him hours to even make one sound as if he MIGHT be into it a little - and usually without any ejaculation.
Background info:
Male/38 YO, Female/37 YO
Male uses prescribed Xanax, and often alcohol usage.
Female has no medications, no alcohol.
Through communications there seems to be no admission causing a lack of attraction, there is no distraction, no environmental issues, no sexual abuse issues, no "method"/"position"/"preference" issues.
I told him I think it's the drugs and alcohol.
I don't know what to do - we love each other very much; but sex is an important aspect in partnering with another person for LIFE.
TUC
Now this article doesn't specify whether it's targeting males or females, but as a female i consider masturbation (mine) an absolute necessity for sexual orgasms. if i don't masturbate for a couple days, it becomes much harder for me to have an orgasm during intercourse. when i'm healthy & stressfree, masturbating 1-2 times a day is mandatory. during intercourse i have multiple orgasms & with little foreplay (w/n 5 minutes). i've never been raped or molested & was 18 the first time i had sex, but i started masturbating at 11 (though i didn't know what i was doing). maybe guys need to limit their masturbation frequency but i tell all my girlfriends that you either "use it or lose it" when it comes to having orgasms. Oh, to the 'anonymous' on gay porn. yes it is healthy. i LOVE gay porn, most of my fantasies involve gay men & my bf of 5 years has just learned to put up with it, like i have to put up with the lesbian stuff.
This might not be an appropriate question, but...how do men masterbate? I have never understood how that is done and I really don't want to have to watch porn or something to figure it out.
ok, here's the deal, I recently started having sex with my girlfriend, and I had no problem getting an erection, but I found myself going for 2 hours with no ejaculation. Frustrated, i pulled out and finished it off myself. I usually masturbate 1-2 times a day and have no problem with ejaculation, i told my girlfriend I just had a high stamina, but I have no idea whats going on. Someone PLEASE HELP!!
Anonymous ...
My husband and I are trying to get pregnant and only recently started having sex with the "need" for orgasism. He has no problem having an organism during masturbation or when I do things but cannot have one when we have sex. He is so stressed out and won't see anyone about it. What should I do? I am so depressed and we are fighting so much about it. Also, he recently went on Viagra to help with the beginning of sex.
I was wondering if anyone can help me
I can never feel much during intercourse I can reach orgasm on my own but not during sex I hardly feel anything but sometimes discomfort
what can i do?
When you masterbate it helps you last longer during sex try not masterbating so much and you wont last as long when you have sex with your girlfriend
Can you tell me if masturbation before sex can cause you to loose an erection during sex, but still keep it hard enough to ejaculate?
I have this serious problem of ejaculating within 2 min of sex.at first i thought it was the women,then i had the same problem with other women as well.i go through this embrrasment every time i have sex .please help.
what will happened if one masterbates 2-5 a day? what are the health risks if any?
I have been married over 30 years. Sex has always been great. I have turned to masterbation since my wife is no longer interested in sex at all.
It seems that I am horny all the time. I need release, masterbate, then feel bad that I did. Here I am a married man and do not get any sex yet feel bad for masterbating.
Also, a friend told me that he has tasted his semen. Can that hurt a guy? I have always wondered about that myself. When my wife used to give me oral sex she did it til I got off and swallowed the semen. I got to thinking what it would taste like. Any guys ever do that?
I love masturbating! My favorite tool to use to lube up is ABOLENE...it's a make up remover that you can buy at a local pharmacy. It has absolutely no smell at all and makes your skin feel soft afterwards. A tub container of the stuff costs you about $10, but a little bit of this stuff goes a long way. I have been using it for the last year.
Can the use of lubes like this affect sperm count? I'm sure that after wanking on my crank my sperm count goes down some but masturbation has given me incredible abilities to last long in the bedroom. The ladies love it!
The Happy Masturbator, age 25
Single, 24, latina female, nice assets...
Can the use of sexual pleasure toys affect my man's sperm count or the use of lubes?
I'm a bit kinky but want to have kids one day.
Can anyone give me a real answer?
how much masterbation is too much? I have been going strong from age 13 about 3 times a day. now im twenty and I do it about 5 times a week. The past year I have notice that my are a bit testicles larger, and my prostate is also getting larger.. which I believe was the cause of a urinary tract infection. do I have anything to worry about? she I try and cut back the masterbating? I cannot nearly last as long as I used to which has also got me concerned.. thank you very much for a response.
To the commenter above:
Dr. Weston's most recent post concerning myths about masturbation answers your question.
When I masterbate, theres no signs i'm going to ejaculate. No pre ejaculate or anything. i can usually get it in 1 to 2 minutes, and its not very good. I thought stuff was suppose to come out before ejaculation and it isn't happening. any help
To those of you with specific questions about your own situation, please post on our Sexual Issues: Member to Member message board.
Im 16 and i last 15 min durring intercourse. no problems and i masturbate 3-4 times a week.
I am a man 83 years old and still desire sex, but my wife no longer wants it, I mastrabate but it is not like the real thing, any suggestions, I don't want to cheat on her. I love giving her oral sex and she enjoys it. BUT!
I have been living with my girlfriend for a couple of months now. For some reason my sex drive has went through the roof. She is not a very sexual person(Maybe one time a week or so). My high sex drive is definately causing a problem with our relationship. Is there something like a reverse viagra or anything that could keep my hormones under control?
i think that sex is great. is it ok to have sex any time and and where. i think that it feels great.
I am a male and have been happily married for over thirty-five years. Right now, it is almost impossible to have private sex because family members live with us; therefore, masturbation three times a week or so really takes the pressure off, not to mention the pleasure.
I am a male and have been happily married for over thirty-five years. Right now, it is almost impossible to have private sex because family members live with us; therefore, masturbation three times a week or so really takes the pressure off, not to mention the pleasure.
To those young men who are having stamina problems, let me say this. I am a 22-year-old man who discovered several fascinating things about pleasure and stimulation control. For one, if you're reaching orgasm too quickly, you're probably focused on your orgasm to begin with. Focus on hers. Second, relax the PC muscle (the one that will stop your urine stream if you squeeze it). Concentrate on squeezing other muscle groups, like your abs and glutes. These muscles are often needed to sustain missionary position anyway, so focus on them. And lastly, and most important in my opinion, vary your rhythm and tempo. If you go at it like a piledriver each time, you're gonna reach climax too fast, and it's likely that she won't. Thanx
well my husband want to leave me or he is not happy with me and this other girl he like is a freak like he is and I want to know how can I be that freak without begin on my period the only time I am a freak is when I am on my period. I want to change my sexdrive to make my husband to like to stay with me
well me and my girlfriend just had sex and when i orgasm inside of her it kinda burned what does this mean i masturbated one time today would that have anything to do with it or do i have something help ralphy
I have been dating my b/f for about 3 yrs. and recently found out that he has a porn/masturbating addiction. This addiction has affected our relationship in many ways. My b/f has to have release (as he would call it) 3-4 times a day. He says if he does not, then he "leaks" when he urinates or he says he is full and needs to get it out. This causes him to have problems in bed. He cannot last but for a few minutes during intercourse. He gets so wound up before sex (during foreplay) that he is ready to ejaculate as soon as he gets penetration. We tried no foreplay and still the same problem. In short, sex lasts about 5-8 minutes. I fear that his over doing it with masturbation has caused his VERY LOW sperm count, LOW ejaculation amount, and quickness in reaching ejaculation. I would like some help on the subject of too much masturbation hurting/not hurting a man's performance. In addition, my b/f has had this problem for about 17 yrs. and he is only 30 yrs. old now. Is there any help for him or us?????
Does the clear liquid that comes out before actual sperm comes out contain sperm cells?
i have been dating someone for about 3mths and he can not ejaculate he masturbates alot. he is on medication but there are not real big side effects. we have tried alot of different things and nothing happens. he really hasn't been with a women in a real long time can that have anything to do with it. can you please help us with this problem he is really losing interest in having sex. please e-mail me back @ ninabina1020@aol.com
I'm 24 and until recently I've had no sexual experience. I began masturbating when I was 20 and more recently.... Within that last few months.... I've experienced a lot of pain after masturbating. I had my first sexual experience a week ago and to be honest it was not all that great because the penetration was a mistake and not intentional.... I was already nearing climax when it happened and at first I was confused to whether it happened or not. I just know it felt different all of a sudden....Like a suction almost.... Then I orgasmed. It may have lasted 7 seconds, but we were going at it for a while before that.... she just moved her underwear to the side which caused the slip.
All of a sudden I began leaking at the tip and when I go the doctor I find that I have Urinary Tract Infection. How does masturbation correlate to UTI? Or did it have something to do with my encounter being my first time...? By the way the leaking has stopped already and I'm not even done with the medication.
I'm a 45 year old man and my girlfriend is 47. She has lost interest in sex but she doesn't mind pleasing me. I have a foot fetish and she has really sexy feet so she indulges me and masturbates me with her feet until I ejaculate. She does this almost every morning and then again at night before we go to bed. I'm now conditioned to get all of my sexual pleasure from her feet. Is this normal?
Hello everyone.
Here is my problem:
I am 20 years old, and still a virgin. I have been masturbating since about I was 13. I would say on average 1-2 times a day every day. For like 6 months now I have been noticing that it is very difficult to get an erection, and if i do get one... it goes away pretty much right away. I have seen an endocronologist about this and I have low testosterone, and I am not sure if it is because of all of the masurbation throught these seven years. I have taken testosterone injections and have not seen or felt any changes. Does anyone know if I stop masturbation completely and continue to take the treatment will it help with my ED? I have asked my doctor this same question and he says yes, but I am unsure due to I have not seen any changes in 1 month into treatment. Please, anyone with tips/suggestions/answers e-mail me at Lovestosk8te@gmail.com... Thanks everyone.
my husband is 37 years old and loves sex so much I give it to him but what bothers me is that he goes on the net and looks at teenporn and ejaculates on the computer and I'm 26 years old is something wrong with him
my husband like to look on the computer and masturbate does that mean he dosen't love me or does he want something else
If I go slow I ejaculate to soon during sex how can I have sex longer without ejaculating to soon?
Hi I'am 48yr old male, very sexually active but wife not so I masturbate often up to 6 times a week. I have tried to arouse her often but have nearly given up, she has all sorts of excuses; fallen vagina!, extended menopause 8-9yrs now and other excuses. I have never thought of chasing sex outside the marriage so I keep hands! to myself. Once recently she got drunk but was too drunk so I had to please myself, very frustrating when kids come along sex life does change thats a fact but they are 21 & 17 now and I still want it!
Wow. Lots of uninformed people here, and lots of folks worried about things that are perfectly okay...but in dealing with a subject so intimately linked to our self-image and self-esteem, I guess people get worked up. The web is full of information, people. If you can't find it here, Google! Masturbation is perfectly okay, even several times a day, if you're not doing yourself physical harm (and you'd know!), or neglecting "real life" responsibilities/relationships in order to masturbate to excess. Now, it may cause some cognitive dissonance in those poor souls who were raised to think of it as "bad," and I can't address that (other than to say: "Poor souls.") I'm early 40s, have always been "long-lasting," have been married 15 years to a woman with an abysmally low sex drive (whom I love desperately), and have thus subsisted on masturbation. In the last year, after the sex went from about once monthly to nothing, I supplemented my sexual diet with a 28-year old mistress. Great decision! She normally doesn't seem to mind my "delayed ejaculation," until we need to part, and then she can usually coax me to climax. But I'm sure masturbation has contributed to that long-lasting state. Obviously, I'd much rather be on this end of the spectrum than the other...but even for those who suffer premature ejaculation, there are specific techniques that reliably correct the problem. Research, people, research! If you're a guy who's bleeding, see your doctor. If your relationship sucks, see a therapist. He's using porn, ladies? Well, if he's still keeping you satisfied, and not cheating on you, and isn't neglecting his other responsibilities, what's the harm? Wouldn't you rather he think of some slutty actress and be with you than vice-versa? (And who's to say he's thinking of her when he's with you, anyway?) If nothing works and your wife has no sex drive, one might consider getting a mistress...but it's a serious decision with potentially huge implications. If you're staying married, your primary concern must be to protect your wife from disease or heartbreak. If you don't respect her enough to take the necessary steps...see a lawyer, and initiate divorce proceedings.
why do men feel it nessesary to masturbate at 4 am when they have a beautiful woman in the bed who is more than willing?do men not understand how that makes a woman feel inadiquite? and it brings up questions that we as women ask ourselves..."what's wrong with me"? "is he cheating?" and so on...especially to a nasty looking porn star on the computer!
This is a really awesome resource for sexual health issues:
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/
Q & As on virtually every topic; it touches on many of the issues you guys are asking about.
TO thomaspayne68@hotmail.com:
If you respected your wife you'd file for divorce or stop disgracing your union. Sex is an essential part of marriage or any serious relationship. If you're so unhappy with your wife that you need a mistress to satisfy you, perhaps you two are not fit to be married. You're doing a great dishonor to the woman you supposedly "love."
or...
Take some of your own medicine and see a sex therapist with her.
PLEASE HELP:
I am unable to find any articles to give me any information. My husband during sex had a painful orgasm and there was no ejaculation.....has anyone heard of this ? i just can not find ANY information
I'm reading on here that a lot of men masturbate at a frequency enough to interfere with acheiving orgasm or remaining firm during intercourse. I personally had this problem. I decided to embark on a new program for myself: limit masturbation to once a week only. Every now and then I break this schedule, but I noticed incredible results. My testosterone levels increased, I maintained refreshing vigor and physical stamina throughout the day, experienced increased energy levels, mental acumen, and ability to focus on completion of tasks. In the bedroom, I no longer have problems staying firm, and achieving orgasm absent of manual stimulation has become less of a problem. I also recommend masturbating while wearing a condom, as condoms are notorious for reducing sensitivity (for both males and females). Also masturbating with a lighter technique may help increase sensitivity. All of these tips may help men overcome embarassing bedroom issues! If these have ever been problems for you, I encourage you to explore these possibilities not only for yourself, but for a heightened sexual experience with you and your loved one. Good luck!
This post has been removed by the author.
To the helpful commentator who suggests I "file for divorce or stop disgracing the union" because I'm so unhappy with my wife I "need a mistress": My friend, this isn't really relevant to the subject, but I'll respond, anyway. I agree wholeheartedly with your comment that "sex is an essential part of marriage." Kinda the essence distinguishing marriage from "really good friendship"--since one can enjoy that with either a woman or a man. I do love my wife, and SHE has chosen to remove sex from our marriage, and SHE has chosen not to take me up on my repeated entreaties to do counseling. So the options I'm left with are: (1) to divorce the woman I love, mother of my children; (2) to find satisfaction elsewhere (the option I've finally chosen, after a decade of deprivation); or, (3) to live with the steady escalation of rage as the years pass sexlessly (except for masturbation, and the occasional--i.e., monthly or less--perfunctory session), and let my understandable anger erode that in my marriage that is good. After trying this option for a decade, I decided to change course, and go with number two. *shrug* This may be "disgracing" the relationship, but arguably she has already eviscerated the marriage by depriving it of sex, leaving, instead, a "really good friendship between coparents." Regardless, I choose to preserve what is left, and after seven months of the "mistress" option, I'm a happier, more attentive father and husband. Who knows? My wife may like the improvement in my temperament so well she finally agrees to counseling...and so my decision to take a mistress could be the catalyst for a marital renaissance.
Can too much sex affect a woman physically? My boyfriend have a lot of sex, up to 25 times a week. Recently he's been saying it doesn't feel the same, as if it were loose. We were wondering what this means? Any suggestions? It's really confusing.
Married 26 year male ,latley when having sex my privet part will be up for hour but my spurm wont come out.what shuld i do,is my spurms count is low or what.
Women should never worry or get upsett if their partner uses mastubation from time to time. Certainly they should not try to prevent it. As long as he is not doing so in preference to having intercourse.
Many Women go through times of the month when they just dont feel like having intercourse. Even the thought of Oral Sex can seem repulsive at these times. The Male desire to procriate is a natural thing and comes from horemones within the body. If an Ejaculation is not achieved that desire will continue to grow and grow with each day that passes. For some Men this can reach a level where they start to loose track of reality and consider doing things they would never normaly do. For instance Surfing the Internet for Porn, buying Porn Magazines or at the very extreme visiting a Prostitute. These situations are extreme and mostly confined to Men who are forced to hide their desires away because their partner is ignoring it.
If your Man is Masturbating it is more likely because he has a strong sex drive which is not being satisfied. But don't get upsett with him, he cant help it !. Its just the way God made him. If you love your Man encourage him to Masturbate in your presence and not to be embarrased about it. You could even offer to help out and do it for him. You may find doing so strengthens your relationship by reducing any lack of trust. But what ever you do, always remember he loves you every bit as much wether he Masturbates or not.
I don't think you understand what I meant...my bellybutton leaks out some certain stuff I'm not familiar with, it has a fowl smell and I meant it's like puss. It gets hard like puss does I suppose if it's there long enough.
To anonymous above --
Your question is one that requires an in-person examination by a health professional to diagnose and treat. It can't be answered here on the Internet.
male 30 years and been dating my gf for 1 year. first six months our sex life was good. now i can't keep an erection for more than 3 minutes. she is getting fustrated cause i dont give her enough time. i tried masterbating first before i see her and that doesn't help. what can i do?
Anonymous above,
Please make an appointment with a qualified health professional to discuss your concerns and get on the path to a healthy attitude about your sexuality and preferences.
My Ex had andorpause at age 32... this is the male version of menopause. Many men get this and some feel it's a main cause of divorce these days. back in the day women didn't like sex anyway and now we want it more and more, when a man get's less interested we think it's us and turn all girly. I did the opposite and noticed many other signs and he went to the Dr. After a blood test and talking to the Dr, she prescribed testosterone eventually leading to a shot and his levels went from low to average. However the damage to our marriage was already in full swing.
ThomasPayne... wow... you know you're right. I mean, i'm completely against cheating, always have been and always will be. BUT you're totally right, and i completely see where your coming from.
To Thomas Payne:
From a mother's prospective i'd have to say your choice of action regarding sex issues between your wife and yourself seems difficult. I can understand trying to remain married and in the household, more or less as friends who love each other, for the sake of the children, but it also is dumbfounding why you would make that choice when you are thinking of your children in the same manner. Would you want your children learning that that is what people do? In a sense you are telling them that having a mistress is okay and there is no harm done (assuming they won't ever find out). No matter how you lay it out weither they know about our situation or not it is very distructive to the way they will look at their potential future problems with life partners. In no way am I judging you or your situation because no one other than your wife and yourself know all the circumstances, however, I wish you would think of your choice maybe more in depth for the sake of your children and their perception on life's choices. God bless!
hi, well my boyfriend as a yough adult has a series of injuries in his privates, that include a direct hit to testis, and a fall from a truck, now he is 29yrs and we are having trouble because he has pre-ejaculation, what can we do, does he is going to be like that always, we tried dif. techniques, and hormone tx, but it looks like it doesn't work. what would yoy suggest?
well...this is odd...ive never talked bout this b4. my problem is this: I'm a virgin but I do masturbate, now recently I'm finding it harder to have a good orgasm, and when I do achieve an orgasm...well frankly very little of nething comes out. lol. I've tried between using porn and my imagination, now I am using more porn. I wasn't sure if this would help, it did for a while but now I get the same problem even w/ porn. Now I'm semi scared that I'm headed down a slippery slope that will lead 2 jail time, or the possible fact that my body has stopped producing sperm and seminal fluid. ne help would be greatly appriacated.
I have issues with my new girlfriend because she states that our sexual relationship is great but she still uses her "rabbit" when i'm not around, what should I do? Kill the Rabbit or leave it alone?
All I want to know is how long does semen stay in a woman?
Hi every one.my girlfriend and i live in differant states at the time being. we have "phone sex" at least once a day. i have been using lotion but when im done i get sours on my genitals and penis, i thought maybe condomes would help clear this up but it made things worse. can any one help me figure out what my problem is? thanks so much!!!!
my question is how long can sperm be active and stay alive in the open air not frozen or refrigerated
im 24 and i masturbate at least once a day every of week for like a few years now , will that lower my sperm count , and i have this problem when i have sex i get off to quickly how can i fix that ?
Ive been masturbating since I was the age of 8 I cant seem to stop masturbating sometimes I I vision odd fruits as certain exotic body parts such as a vagina or breastesses...one time my parents walked in on me masturbating and it how should I say aroused even more is there a problem with being sexually aroused by that? I often think of wild animals such as beavers...sometimes when I watch animal planet I recieve an erection is this a psycological problem should I see a Shrink...?
Does Sperm really have protein in it?
im a 19 yr. old male, and i want to know why is it that i cum like 5 minutes into sex? and why cant i get an erection again for a couple of hours?
i'm 50 year old mild mentally retarded male and i masturbate 2-3 times a day and i know people with mental retardation masturbate more frequently. plus since i'm mild mentally retarded i have gotten a vasectomy when i was 20 year's old. i know it very common people with mental retardation usually go and get sterilized since they r mentally retarded.
HI IM ABOUT TO GET MARRIED FOR THE THIRD TIME AND MY FIANCE'S PENIS IS SMALLER THEN IM USED TOO. WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP IN THAT AREA. HES GOOD WITH HIS HANDS. AND ANOTHER THING I HAVE GENITAL HERPES AND HE DONT WHAT CAN WE DO TO KEEP IT THAT WAY
can smoking marijuana delay ejaculation? or make a man more horny??
Masturbation can be used as a tool to help with all kinds of sexual problems. Pratice makes perfect!
i read tht artical thts much info.can u tell me how can i improve my spurm power last time get my spurm report thy siad ur spurm are week and thy dead hurry whn thy come out i had married 5 years but still one kid i need 2 more kids wot to do
To increse your spurm count you need to exercize every morning by bringing your self to a full erection, holding it for as long as you can and repete that 10 times. Wile your at it you can hold the base of your shaft and squeeze the upper top part for a count of 30. This will increse not only your spurm count but also add girth.
I am 15 years old and started masturbating at 14 when i first did it i bleed out my penis and i havent ejaculated corretcly yet? are they realted at all? and is semen white because when i do it comes out clear and i am really worried
Married 18yrs. and my husband libido has really taken a dive for the worst, if it happens twice a month I consider myself lucky. We use to do it on a whim and experienced with lots of different positions. I ran across some exotic photo he keeps in a usb, and thought that he would use that to the advantage of role play, but know. I don't know what to do anymore and masturbation for is just not cutting it anymore.
im in remission from lymphoma for the past year, and now i lately i have noticed that my sex drive is lower than my wife's. what is the best way to boost my desire so that we both are happy.
i've heard that semen has positive results when in contact with skin. Is this true and what makes this possible?
please help - i'm unsure where else to post this short of sex therapy. my long-distance boyfriend and i have been dating a year and during that time i have been able to bring him to climax only about 4-5 times. he watches porn and can reach orgasm on his own, but with me it has been seemingly impossible. he does continually (and slowly) seem to ejaculate what he calls "lube" (i have never experienced this with other partners i have had) prior to & during sex, but claims he cannot get enough stimulation/pressure during sex. we will have sex for HOURS and i cannot seem to satisfy him, which is frustrating to both of us and makes me feel like an incapable, bad lover. any guidance appreciated - thanks.
My husband of 8 years has a problem with stamina. He is in and over in about a minute. I have never been with someone that has this problem. He told me that he has always been like this and it bothers him too. I would like to experience a long and passionate love makeing with my husband and not a "wham bam thank you mam" as we call it. Unless he is horney and I am not really into it than a wham bam is ok. Does anyone have any ideas or solutions?
i am having trouble with my boyfriend we have been together for about 6 months and i love him dearly he is 43 and i am 23 i am having trouble reaching my climax before he finshes and i am hopeing that its not our age diffrence but i want to be able to climax when he does is there any thing i can do or that he can do ?i need help someone but when he masterbates it takes him longer why?i hope this sint too much info for everyone lol
Just wondering...
My husband and I are 37/38 years old. We have sex usually at least 2 or 3 times a week. He has said before that he "has" to masturbate at least once a day. He says this is normal for men. He masturbates in private (before he leaves for work by looking at porn on the computer) and hides any "evidence" to this (meaning-he deletes the computer history so as to not to appear to be on porn sites.) I know ways around this and have looked at the sites he has visited. They are "normal" porn sites--no unusual things...My problem is that I LOVE sex and even tho' I get it at least 2 or 3 times a week, I feel neglected and don't like the idea that he is "sneaking" around. He thinks that 2 -3 time s a week for our age is pretty good. We don't have boring sex--lots of storytelling/fantasies, but maybe too much? What are your opinions on this? Normal male behavior as he says, even tho' he has a willing partner? Most of the time he has to finish by hand--he "can't" finish in me or even orally....by hand only. Is this because of "too" much masturbation? Also, he knows I don't mind watching him masturbate--is it just a normal male "private" thing?
I'm 44 year old male. I've been hving problem stay in the mood. My erection is too fast. Can anyone help cause my girlfriend is really getting mad at me lol.
good for you if your erection is so fast as long as it stays that way until the love-making if done.....
Getting to have a male partner in bed who is so fast and ejaculate in only a few seconds reminds me of Steve Mcqueen's movie "Gone in 60 Seconds" It is really frustrating to have a bed partner having premature ejaculation. My advice is to have the girl masturbates herself first and when she feels her orgasm approaching, she encourages her partner to penetrate her at that moment....
i am just wondering if the absence of sex for so many years makes a man difficult to have a sustained erection....can somebody give some comments...
I am 37 - I masturbate 2-3 times a day - I have experimented with homosexuality - always in the role of the woman. I am not attracted to men, but the sexual stuff is fun.
I love women, and i am attracted to women with small breasts (aa-b cup - no bigger then a 34) - i also perfer women who do not shave.
I had really bad premature ejaculation when i was younger - I would ejaculate before I even entered a women. I was told to train myself to take longer while masturbating. i got up to 30 minutes.
Now, years later, I can not ejaculate with out the hand. i also have to visualize really bizarre and taboo stuff to get off. I think that my over usage of porn may have desensitized me to the point where I need to envision incestual acts or homoerotic acts to get off.
Has this ever happened to anyone else?
i want to know if i masturbation a day before sex would the girl i sleep will get pregnancy?
Unprotected sex can lead to pregnancy regardless of masturbation. Masturbation is not birth control.
I had an issue yesterday for the first time I can remember. I have not used or had to use condoms in like 20 years and I just met a girl online like two months and we met for the first time in person yesterday. She insisted on using condoms, which I said was cool and that I respected that. I have never had a problem getting an erection, many times while we talked online or on the phone I would get erections without any problem, but yesterday when we were attempting to have intercourse, both times when I put the condoms on, and tried to penetrate, I went flaccid. Is this a normal thing for someone not used to wearing condoms, or is this possibly the start of ED? After she left and we talked on the phone later, we talked about what had transpired and I got erect again no problem.
Has anyone heard of or know a way to increase the amount of seman one can ejaculate? I'm 55 years young and still have sex at every oppurtunity, but the amount I'm able to ejaculate has decreased drastically.I've had prostate exams as well as regular physicals and nothing is wrong. I just don't cum as much as I'd like. I'm wondering if maybe there is an exercise or maybe something I can eat ect. that may help me to, excuse my french "cum like a porn star". I don't believe anything I've seen advertised online would be helpful, just relieve me of my hard earned money. Modern day snake oil I think. Anyone that may be able to help can email me at trailblazer196853@yahoo.com. Thanks
vgizfkidoes anyone know after your first ejaculation how your sperm count is afftected your second orgasim in a 2 hour period. my wife and i were having sex and after my first orgasim, she aroused me again to where my condom broke and i yet to have an idea what was in it but i hadn1t orgasimed yet... does anyone think she will become pregnant if we did not continue sex after it broke... because there might have been precum in the condom but i am unsure. but could it cause her to become pregnat
what is the average time a male should take to ejaculate durring sex.?
I am so blessed that I have a husband who is saved. He goes to church and loves God faithfully so he would never disrespect me by watching porn or masturbating. That is terrible that we have lowered our standards. I was a virgin until marriage and now our sex life is phenomenol, we are sooooo happy. Maybe because he knows I am not "used goods" he treats me like a queen? I don't know but it seems there are a lot of misinformation out there and maybe you guys should try going to church together because that would nourish your spirit, therefore enhancing your sex life. Sex is much much much better when you are happiliy married and make a strong commitment to each other, where is your dignity? How long are you going to be just a live in girlfriend or boyfriend? If you are not good enough to marry, why do you keep giving yourself away??
my fiance and i have been having sex pretty much daily.sometimes even more than once a day.and it's great sex. the only problem is we want to have a baby but he can't cum inside me. he says that it feels great and i turn him on and all that. but he has to masturbate in order to cum. he doesn't even get off on oral. i've never ever had this problem before with anyone else. have i lost the fire in the bedroom?
I haven't had sex with my wife in the past 7 months. She doesn't arouse me. I find it even hard to kiss her. I love her, she just doesn't turn me on.
Can you help?
my wife and i play around for a while before having sex. i have found that after 3 to 5 min im having an ejactulation.then i cant get eroused after one time.i feel like im not pleasing my wife. what can i do to fix this problem?
i am 19 and a virgin. i've never had sex, oral, handjob, anything. and i have noticed that i have been getting warts on the palm of my right hand and i think that they are from masturbating. i had one pop up about a year ago and it spread causing 3 more to spring up, so i got them surgically removed. i haven't masturbated in about 6 months until about a week ago and i noticed that i have a wart coming up in the center of my palm. i'm too embarrassed to go to the doctor, but if i find out it could be something serious, i will. but i want to know that it could be something wrong before i go to the doctor. can anybody tell me what the deal is?
-mikey
Mikey, i'm no expert but that kinda sounds like something that might be related to genital warts so i would have a doc check it out
I dont know if I have the right answer but I do know this if you guys really ask your partner the truth she would probally tell you the clean up is easier on the outside. And as for climax early learn before and after forplay.
is it bad to masturbate alot will sumthng go wrong wen ur older??
or how do you now if wen your sperm is coming out rite like shooting or staying on the tip and cleaning it up after??
Married for 7 years and three children. I just had a debate with my parents and my female friend about allowing my husband to watch porn. The three of them seem to think my husband has a sick mind for watching it. I do not agree with them, I know he only watches it when we are not home(children and I), or if I am sleeping at my moms. He tells me and I am ok with it. We have an excellent sexual relationship and I don't agree he is sick for being open and telling me the truth. Men married or not have the need to masturbate! Am i wrong?
I have been seeing a guy for about four months. I found he has a foot fetish. Is this something normal? I have never heard of this and I thought i had heard it all. CF
HELP
My husband had protate removed 2 years ago still has prob getting "stiff" erection and strong climax Using rx no help any suggestions I need penetration hands just aren't cutting it
not lasting long in bed is this a bad sign??
This might not be innappropriate but I was tantric (ability to have orgasms without sex, masturbation, or any other physical contact)before I was with my boyfriend and now it's very hard to do.
Is this normal?
Also it still hurts during intercourse feeling like my 2nd time having sex ever... [we've done it more than a few times] (and it's enjoyable) but is this normal? Shouldn't I be used to it by now?
I am 16, and I have had some masturbation problems for about a year now. When I masturbate, I always orgasm early, but the feeling doesn't go away. It literally feels like I am in the midst of an orgasm for a long time after, and I typically have to ejaculate at least 10-15 times before I know longer have any sex drive, even though the feeling is still there. Eventually,it wears off, but I am still uncomfortable sitting still and constantly shift in my seat all day.
I am obviously embarrassed to go to my parents, so I thought I'd try to get an opinion here before/if I do. Does anyone have any idea what is wrong with me? Is it serious? Should I have my doctor look at it, or is there a simple remedy (i.e. special diet).
This has been bothering me since February 2008, and has officially driven me nuts. Help!
Married 46 year old Male who love's to Masturbate alot.I really enjoy Male Masturbation & pleasure often.
Actually I am 21 , I dont know what has happend to me , My erection and everything is good with my gf , but when i try some other girl for a change for example a prostitute my sexual organ doesnt stand and I the girl thinks I am impotent please need help what is happening to me ,
im a 60 yr old male that has been masturbating since i was 5 yrs old..it started once a week and now its 2-3 times a day everyday!my penis becomes very tender and has shrunk considerably...i've gained weight and have that pouch in my pubic area...i cannot wrap my hand around my penis to masterbate i have to use the tips of my fingers on the tip of my [penis...i annot perform as well as iused to with partners in my teenage years,,now i get hard and stick it in and my erection goes away!! what can i do????????
masturbating doin it alot meaning everyday will that stop my penis to egcluate sperm
I am 45 years old and have been masturbating for the last 30+ years (usually 2 - 3 times/week). About 3 months ago I must have went a little too hard on myself. Afterwards there was blood around the shaft of my penis and the head appeared to have been bleeding also. I ignored it thinking it would clear up. I tried cutting back on my masturbating to see if that would help but it hasn't. The head is two shades of red. The lighter, normal shade and darker splotches around were it was bleeding. Lately I've been putting Neosporin on it to see if that would heal it. I've been doing it for about 3 weeks (and haven't masturbated in that time either) but don't really see any change. Is this something I should have looked at, does it take a really long time to heal or is this something I have to live with for the rest of my life?
Thanks.
SR&M? Who wrote this a fifteen year old? Im a 50 year old man who hasnt had to, or would even think about masterbation.
Is it bad to hold your semen in after intercourse?
I am 19 years old. I have had great sex with a meaningful partner and recently went through a hard breakup. The mood struck me and i tried masturbating, and i would get almost to orgasm, and my body would shake but just at the point nothing would come out and the sensation would pull back. any suggestions?
I feel so embarised leaving this post but here we go...
I am 24 years old, happily married and have had a great sex life. I wasn't until recently that I have been unable to finish myself while having sex with my wife. It has happened before but not like this, it would only happen once every 3-4 months. now it has happened 1-2 every few weeks. As a man it is sexually frustrating and also discouraging. I feel as though I am letting my wife down, because she is so into it and so am I.
I just dont understand why this is happening. Isnt it suppose to be that ages 20-30 is the mans most sexual point in his life? I just want to get down to it. I don't know who to talk to about this and need help. Could it be ED or could it be that I am just having alot of crap on my mind.
If amyone could help me, please respond to me
I had blood in my seaman and what does that mean. Was not much but enough to scare me. What does it mean
blood in seaman, what does it mean? What does it mean can you help me out.
To those asking about blood in the semen, it may mean nothing at all but see your doctor just to be sure.
I am 22 years old. Single. And I masturbate 3 times a week. I have a foot fetish, and I enjoy wathing videos on Youtube, with some lesbian toe sucking.
What causes premature ejactulation while you are sleping? I'm a 50 yr old male and have a low T level and this has happened quite often.
will women get pragnent after erection of male peni into women vagina for 5 seconds
I masturbate a lot everyday, and I get erections fine, I haven't expierenced any problems, and I've been doing it since I was like 13 or so. There is no problems with doing it too much. You can do it as much as you want, you could run like empty after doing it a lot one day, but you never like run out of sperm. Don't worry, masturbating is normal and it takes away that need for sex. So whatever age you are, masturbate away!!!! :)
I also saw a comment on how men masturbate. No one answered it, so I guess I will. They grab the shaft of their penis and rub it from the glands to the base over and over and over again. It is stimulated by that, which gives them an orgasm.
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