When you are trying to be aroused by another person, if the physical stimulation itself isn’t sufficient to lead you to orgasm, then what you are doing mentally becomes crucial. You will find that the best path to overcoming delayed ejaculation more easily includes thinking and visualizing things that are erotic to you. This could include: scenarios that you have imagined and have never (and would never) experience, situations from your past that really excited you, things you do hope for, and any combination of sensory input that you can personally concoct.

Second, it means that you do your best to avoid thinking about things that make you anxious during the sex. Many times people start a downward spiral that includes things like, “I’m taking too long” or “I wonder if my partner’s bored?” or “Why can’t I get over this?” These types of thoughts predispose a person to slowing down the arousal and increase the chance of everything being slower.

Though we tend to hear much more about men with premature ejaculation, quite a few men would like to learn ways to reach orgasm more quickly and with fewer feelings of “working” at it. Before considering the psychological issues that follow, be sure to check with your physician about any sexual side effects of medication you take, particularly antidepressants. Also, get screened for medical conditions that may affect orgasm, including prostate problems, diabetes, cancer and neurovascular conditions.