Sex Education for All Ages
Recently I had a post on my message board from a concerned parent of a 4-year old. He had noticed that his son was playing with his genitals often, and was concerned that it was unhealthy. He wasn't sure what to say to his son, and since it hadn't happened with any of his other children, he was also concerned that it was a problem.
Here's my answer:
Keeping it low key and remembering that kids require a lot of repetition to learn things will help you not grow overly worried.
I do suspect that your other kids may have been more subtle about their interests in their genitals and those of others. And, it is important to remember that children from the same family do vary.
When children do have these behaviors, I always encourage parents to make sure that there is enough accurate sexual information in their environment. This will help them know that they can ask questions of you about bodies. This gives YOU the chance to give them accurate information, rather than what a playmate may offer.
This advice REALLY came home to roost about a year ago.
At dinner one night, my husband asked our then six-year old what he wanted to do for work he grew up. After a few moments of thinking, he replied, "I don't want to work, I just want to be a dad." My husband and I exchanged smiles over our son's picture of fathering.
But then, without missing a beat, my son continued: "But, I'm not sure I want to do that either because then you have to pee in your wife."
This follow up comment came so unexpectedly that I nearly choked on my mashed potatoes. There I was, the sex therapist openly answering questions (along with my husband) about bodies and feelings for my son for the last few years and somehow a school yard friend had managed to plant this misinformation!
On the spot, I vowed to redouble my efforts to proactively provide accurate sexual information to my son -- without always waiting for the questions to be asked. So, at that point, I explained that while daddies sometimes do put a fluid in the mommies bodies in the space between her legs, it was not pee. It was a very special fluid called semen that sometimes can cause the mommy to grow a baby inside of her. He said, "OK, Mom."
My three-year old, sensing that something important had just been said, proceeded to exuberantly sing, "Pee in your wife, pee in your wife, pee in your wife...!"
My husband then said, "Mom, would you please pass me some more mashed potatoes?"
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If you are looking for sources to help you provide this type of information, I'm a real fan of these two books to help out parents. Both are by Robie Harris. "It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health" and "It's So Amazing: A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families." Keep the information matter of fact and available. And remember, it takes repetition.
Related Topics: Sex Ed for the Suddenly Single, Syphilis Rising in the US
Technorati Tags: child development, sex education
Here's my answer:
Keeping it low key and remembering that kids require a lot of repetition to learn things will help you not grow overly worried.
I do suspect that your other kids may have been more subtle about their interests in their genitals and those of others. And, it is important to remember that children from the same family do vary.
When children do have these behaviors, I always encourage parents to make sure that there is enough accurate sexual information in their environment. This will help them know that they can ask questions of you about bodies. This gives YOU the chance to give them accurate information, rather than what a playmate may offer.
This advice REALLY came home to roost about a year ago.
At dinner one night, my husband asked our then six-year old what he wanted to do for work he grew up. After a few moments of thinking, he replied, "I don't want to work, I just want to be a dad." My husband and I exchanged smiles over our son's picture of fathering.
But then, without missing a beat, my son continued: "But, I'm not sure I want to do that either because then you have to pee in your wife."
This follow up comment came so unexpectedly that I nearly choked on my mashed potatoes. There I was, the sex therapist openly answering questions (along with my husband) about bodies and feelings for my son for the last few years and somehow a school yard friend had managed to plant this misinformation!
On the spot, I vowed to redouble my efforts to proactively provide accurate sexual information to my son -- without always waiting for the questions to be asked. So, at that point, I explained that while daddies sometimes do put a fluid in the mommies bodies in the space between her legs, it was not pee. It was a very special fluid called semen that sometimes can cause the mommy to grow a baby inside of her. He said, "OK, Mom."
My three-year old, sensing that something important had just been said, proceeded to exuberantly sing, "Pee in your wife, pee in your wife, pee in your wife...!"
My husband then said, "Mom, would you please pass me some more mashed potatoes?"
---
If you are looking for sources to help you provide this type of information, I'm a real fan of these two books to help out parents. Both are by Robie Harris. "It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health" and "It's So Amazing: A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families." Keep the information matter of fact and available. And remember, it takes repetition.
Related Topics: Sex Ed for the Suddenly Single, Syphilis Rising in the US
Technorati Tags: child development, sex education
3 Comments:
Thanks for this fun article and reminding us that we're all in the same boat.
My friends and I had that same misconception when we were young kids.
And due to clammed up parents, thank god for the sex ed nicknamed "Family Life" we got starting in the 4th grade.
My wife and I are trying for children.How long does it take a males sperm count to recover after sex? I have been reading and it says try more than once between days 12 and 16 !
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