Part 4: Lack of Sleep

This is the fourth in a series of ten very common reasons why women may find themselves feeling low level of interest in being sexual: Not getting enough sleep.

I sometimes hear,"My partner doesn't want sex because she's too tired. How could anyone be too tired to have sex?" I'll then reply, "Would you rather skip it all together on a given occasion? Or would you rather she fell asleep while you were busily attempting to please her and yourself?" (This does happen.)

This vivid picture of a woman sleeping through sexual acts is often enough to stop her partner from dismissing her fatigue. Some women offer tiredness as an excuse to avoid sex, but there are many women who truly are too tired to go through with it.

Probably the most common cause of lack of sleep among women involves tending to children. It's often the newborn that needs to be fed every three to four hours around the clock. It may be the child who has a hard time falling asleep, staying asleep, or has frequent nightmares. Since women still do the lion's share of childcare, these night time issues with children do tend to affect their sleep most often.

Some women don't sleep well because they're troubled by their relationship. They may not feel comfortable lying next to their mate. They may be sleeping on the couch -- or their mate may be (which causes its own type of discomfort).

And, there are environmental issues -- noisy trains rolling by, a dog outside barking, freeway noises, busy streets and bus lines the roar by, the neighbors arguing in the next apartment, and a snoring bed partner. Some women just can't ignore these noises and they lose sleep over it.

Early on in a relationship, many folks will go without sleep for the sake of the sexual relationship. But, when the bloom is off the rose and the shortcomings and flaws of both partners begin to emerge, sleep can seem a much better use of time.

Sometimes younger people (teens, twenties, thirties) can see the value in losing sleep for the sake of sex too -- even when the relationship has progressed beyond the initial glow. But, even so, a sleepy sex partner isn't always the most enticing.

I recommend that if there is a way to help the sleep-deprived woman get some extra zzz's, the partner seeking the more frequent sex should consider all the ways that could make that happen. Simply complaining about sex deprivation does not count as one of the ways.

Related Topics: Sex Drive May Be Swayed By Genetics, How to Sleep Like An Olympic Athlete

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