Part 5: Stress
This is the fifth in a series of "Ten Reasons Why Women May Lack Sexual Desire."
One of the most commonly held ideas about sex is that it's a great stress reliever. And, it is. But stress can also be a libido killer. It all depends on the viewpoint of the person who is stressed.
Men will often say to one another, "Man, you look stressed. You should get laid." While this isn't always the answer to stress for men, you will almost never hear one woman say to another, "Dear, you really are looking stressed. I think that you should go have sex." It just generally isn't the way that most women view stress reduction -- not that having sex can't work that way.
When women are overloaded and overwhelmed, they quite often can't even get started sexually. Touch can feel annoying. The idea of putting out more energy to please someone else feels a really uninviting choice. And, as many women know, having an orgasm often works like an emotional truth serum that reveals despair just when you've managed to get through an entire grueling day without crying over it.
Many women just don't want to go there. That's because if the sex is intimate and functional, they are faced with the combined task of mustering more energy and doing so in close proximity to someone who may have a relevant connection to the stress. And, if her partner is generating the stress -- thanks, but, "no thanks" is the frequent response to, "How about having sex, dear?"
When stress is present, the best option to consider is talking. There's something quite curative for most women in conversation. Discussing the matters decreases the charge and unwinds the tension. Then, maybe a bit later, sex might seem like an acceptable follow up.
Related Topics: Get Sexual for Ultimate Weight Loss, Workplace Stress and Your Health
Technorati Tags: stress, sexual health, relationships, top ten list
One of the most commonly held ideas about sex is that it's a great stress reliever. And, it is. But stress can also be a libido killer. It all depends on the viewpoint of the person who is stressed.
Men will often say to one another, "Man, you look stressed. You should get laid." While this isn't always the answer to stress for men, you will almost never hear one woman say to another, "Dear, you really are looking stressed. I think that you should go have sex." It just generally isn't the way that most women view stress reduction -- not that having sex can't work that way.
When women are overloaded and overwhelmed, they quite often can't even get started sexually. Touch can feel annoying. The idea of putting out more energy to please someone else feels a really uninviting choice. And, as many women know, having an orgasm often works like an emotional truth serum that reveals despair just when you've managed to get through an entire grueling day without crying over it.
Many women just don't want to go there. That's because if the sex is intimate and functional, they are faced with the combined task of mustering more energy and doing so in close proximity to someone who may have a relevant connection to the stress. And, if her partner is generating the stress -- thanks, but, "no thanks" is the frequent response to, "How about having sex, dear?"
When stress is present, the best option to consider is talking. There's something quite curative for most women in conversation. Discussing the matters decreases the charge and unwinds the tension. Then, maybe a bit later, sex might seem like an acceptable follow up.
Related Topics: Get Sexual for Ultimate Weight Loss, Workplace Stress and Your Health
Technorati Tags: stress, sexual health, relationships, top ten list
6 Comments:
I have a question. I am going through menopause. Can I get pregnant when I am menstrating?
I try talking. He thinks I am just complaining, or trying to cause conflicts that , to him, don't exist. He then says that he is no longer in the mood. Well, thats how I felt before I tried talking about it.
How do I talk when he is the one causing the srss?
That is a very good question. And I'm still boggled about how to deal with the situation when my mate is the cause/root of my stress. This has a very serious impact on our sex life. It's to the point where I am disgusted to see that he is delightfully pleasured during my time of distress. Can anyone help?
I wish I could. I am in the same dilemma. I have ZERO interest in sex with my husband. I have been married for 32 years and our sex life has been a disaster from the beginning. I hung in there trying to make it better, but the more stress in my life the worse it gets to the point where I just don't want to be bothered. I am so angry that I have completely missed out on such an important part of life. I think I just need to end the marriage. I am such a coward.
This is kinda random...but, is it common for women in their mid-20s to have a loss of sexual desire? Is there anything that can be done to help increase the desire? Please! Any advice would be so helpful! Thank you.
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