Advertisement
Icon WebMD Expert Blogs

Our experts talk share their thoughts on mating, dating, and relating.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Part 5: Stress

This is the fifth in a series of “Ten Reasons Why Women May Lack Sexual Desire.”

One of the most commonly held ideas about sex is that it’s a great stress reliever. And, it is. But stress can also be a libido killer. It all depends on the viewpoint of the person who is stressed.

Men will often say to one another, “Man, you look stressed. You should get laid.” While this isn’t always the answer to stress for men, you will almost never hear one woman say to another, “Dear, you really are looking stressed. I think that you should go have sex.” It just generally isn’t the way that most women view stress reduction — not that having sex can’t work that way.

When women are overloaded and overwhelmed, they quite often can’t even get started sexually. Touch can feel annoying. The idea of putting out more energy to please someone else feels a really uninviting choice. And, as many women know, having an orgasm often works like an emotional truth serum that reveals despair just when you’ve managed to get through an entire grueling day without crying over it.

Many women just don’t want to go there. That’s because if the sex is intimate and functional, they are faced with the combined task of mustering more energy and doing so in close proximity to someone who may have a relevant connection to the stress. And, if her partner is generating the stress — thanks, but, “no thanks” is the frequent response to, “How about having sex, dear?”

When stress is present, the best option to consider is talking. There’s something quite curative for most women in conversation. Discussing the matters decreases the charge and unwinds the tension. Then, maybe a bit later, sex might seem like an acceptable follow up.

Related Topics: Get Sexual for Ultimate Weight Loss, Workplace Stress and Your Health

Technorati Tags: stress, sexual health, relationships, top ten list

Posted by: WebMD Blogs at 4:34 pm

Subscribe & Stay Informed

Sex & Relationships

Sign up for the Sex & Relationships newsletter and get relationship tips, diet and exercise tips to rev-up your sex life.

Archives

WebMD Health News