The Real Problem with Larry Craig's Behavior
Idaho Senator Larry Craig's restroom incident at the Minneapolis Airport has stirred up many reactions. And, while I haven't read every blogger's thoughts about it, none I've read have focused on some issues that concern me.
Apparently this particular restroom had gained some notoriety as a very "cruisey" spot.(This was borne out when police were assigned duty there to arrest men who solicited sex.) Complaints about the activities had reached a level that required action. I am just not sure whether a stake out to arrest men interested in anonymous sex was the best way to manage what really boils down to a public nuisance issue.
Don't get me wrong. I am a very progressive person when it comes to sex and sexual liberty. Yet, there's a problem with consenting adults (of any gender) getting it on in public settings - airports, choir lofts, or parks.
I have traveled with my two sons (ages five and eight) and few women are eager to have them traipse into their restroom - well, maybe the five-year-old, but not the older one. If my husband is not with us, I have three choices: annoy women with my boys in their rest room, go hunting for a "family rest room" in hopes that one exists, or send them blithely into the men's restroom while I hover anxiously just outside the entrance. If two men are going at it in a stall (or even at the urinals, which sometimes happens), once sexual arousal really kicks in, not everyone bothers to notice whether kids have just walked in. Will they be traumatized by this variation on "the primal scene"? Perhaps not. But should I be expected to put up with it? Nope.
My kids and I talk about sexual matters with some frequency. It's woven into our everyday experiences and prompted by what we see (a very pregnant woman jogging this morning as we drove to school) and what they hear at school (the many words substitute for the word "penis") to name a few. Yet, I'm not ready for them to listen to the live moans of two men in a stall next to them.
So, I'd prefer that if two men want to hook up, they figure out a way to keep it to themselves. Yes, that's tricky to do in an airport or a rest stop on the highway. Here's where my liberal views kick in and I'll offer the not-so-wacky idea that rooms with modest beds be available for rent at airports - similar to the establishments that are available for hourly rent in major cities which include a Jacuzzi, sauna, shower and bed. I've begun to see massage centers popping up in airports and have bought an hour myself. If only I'm alive long enough to see such a sane solution to a problem that will never really go away!
So, my suggestion is: Give people a private place to sexually connect that is specifically designed for that. It need not be just for same-sex participants. Anyone who wants to rent an hour can pay the fee and use it as they wish - even for napping during long layovers and delayed flights. Sleeping across a cluster of airport seats is just plain uncomfortable.
As for getting the cruising out of public rest rooms - post signs that discreetly indicate that private "rest areas" are available for rent on Concourse B while this facility is strictly for toileting and hand washing. People who really want to be sexual will do so when they want to - even if it at times inconveniences others.
I don't advocate sticking our heads in the sand about this undeniable human behavior or getting our shorts in a bind over who wants to do it with whom. I couldn't care less about the behavior of hypocritical politicians. Actually, I do care. I care about the hypocrisy and their continual strivings to legislate a particular type of "morality" - particularly when those efforts fly in the face of what they do in their own real life.
Related Topics: Technorati Tags: sex, Larry Craig, Sex Matters
Apparently this particular restroom had gained some notoriety as a very "cruisey" spot.(This was borne out when police were assigned duty there to arrest men who solicited sex.) Complaints about the activities had reached a level that required action. I am just not sure whether a stake out to arrest men interested in anonymous sex was the best way to manage what really boils down to a public nuisance issue.
Don't get me wrong. I am a very progressive person when it comes to sex and sexual liberty. Yet, there's a problem with consenting adults (of any gender) getting it on in public settings - airports, choir lofts, or parks.
I have traveled with my two sons (ages five and eight) and few women are eager to have them traipse into their restroom - well, maybe the five-year-old, but not the older one. If my husband is not with us, I have three choices: annoy women with my boys in their rest room, go hunting for a "family rest room" in hopes that one exists, or send them blithely into the men's restroom while I hover anxiously just outside the entrance. If two men are going at it in a stall (or even at the urinals, which sometimes happens), once sexual arousal really kicks in, not everyone bothers to notice whether kids have just walked in. Will they be traumatized by this variation on "the primal scene"? Perhaps not. But should I be expected to put up with it? Nope.
My kids and I talk about sexual matters with some frequency. It's woven into our everyday experiences and prompted by what we see (a very pregnant woman jogging this morning as we drove to school) and what they hear at school (the many words substitute for the word "penis") to name a few. Yet, I'm not ready for them to listen to the live moans of two men in a stall next to them.
So, I'd prefer that if two men want to hook up, they figure out a way to keep it to themselves. Yes, that's tricky to do in an airport or a rest stop on the highway. Here's where my liberal views kick in and I'll offer the not-so-wacky idea that rooms with modest beds be available for rent at airports - similar to the establishments that are available for hourly rent in major cities which include a Jacuzzi, sauna, shower and bed. I've begun to see massage centers popping up in airports and have bought an hour myself. If only I'm alive long enough to see such a sane solution to a problem that will never really go away!
So, my suggestion is: Give people a private place to sexually connect that is specifically designed for that. It need not be just for same-sex participants. Anyone who wants to rent an hour can pay the fee and use it as they wish - even for napping during long layovers and delayed flights. Sleeping across a cluster of airport seats is just plain uncomfortable.
As for getting the cruising out of public rest rooms - post signs that discreetly indicate that private "rest areas" are available for rent on Concourse B while this facility is strictly for toileting and hand washing. People who really want to be sexual will do so when they want to - even if it at times inconveniences others.
I don't advocate sticking our heads in the sand about this undeniable human behavior or getting our shorts in a bind over who wants to do it with whom. I couldn't care less about the behavior of hypocritical politicians. Actually, I do care. I care about the hypocrisy and their continual strivings to legislate a particular type of "morality" - particularly when those efforts fly in the face of what they do in their own real life.
Related Topics: Technorati Tags: sex, Larry Craig, Sex Matters
7 Comments:
"Will they be traumatized by this variation on "the primal scene"? Perhaps not."
Of course you should not have to put up with having your children exposed to such things, particularly in the bathrooms of a major airport. And I do thinK that your proposed solution has some merit.
However, you raise an interesting point in your suggestion that your child being exposed to such an experience MIGHT not be so harmful as most people probably believe. Many years ago I heard a statistic that the average child has witnessed hundreds of acts of murder and thousands of acts of other kinds of violence, on public television, by the age of ten. Yet parents are far more comfortable talking to their children about that violence than they are talking to them about sexuality. So murder and mayhem are fine, but God forbid a child should be exposed to actual sexual acts, other than those sanctioned by the media.
Here is Senator Craig, a formidable opponent of exactly the kinds of sexual expression he was so obviously engaging in, no doubt claiming that he wants to "protect the children," and using his position in the government to trample on the rights of others. Hypocrisy doesn't even begin to describe the convoluted duplicity of him and his ilk.
As an Idahoan and a church goin' married white guy, I am extremely disapponted with the Senator's actions AND his hypocracy.
I have felt for a long time that Craig was homosexual and there have been other situations in his past that were "dealt with the 'good 'ole boy" way. His kids are adopted and his wife is a beard.
I don't really give a rip as to what Larry does in the privacy of his bedroom/ hotel/ or behind whatever lockable door. I have a MAJOR issue with two people engaging in sex in public. (hetero or homo)
As for the idea of a sex room, personally I think it is a poor idea. I would think that we all should be able to control our urges until we can get to the Ho Jo 500 feet from the airport. I see the sex rooms being used for adulterous liasons, underaged sex, prostitution and sex crimes.
I think having rooms with beds that can be rented by the hour would be handy in an airport for those with long layovers, so I'm not against the idea at all. Futher, if someone wanted to start a chain of gloryhole-get it here-sex-O-Rama hotels, I don't think the law should stop them.
But I think the real tragedy is that so many gay people are trying to live in the closet and get by with secret bathroom sex instead of just being able to have out of the closet sex like heteros do. I don't know that it's in societies best interest to encourage quickie anonymous sex, at least not until we have a cure for AIDS and other STDs.
Having "Quickie VIP Lounges" in airports is not the solution and seems to be missing the more crucial part of the issue.
If Craig did indeed enter this restroom for the purposes of a sexual encounter (and we may never know that for sure), then the problem is yet another public figure living a hypocritical lie. Craig has certainly done his fair share of undermining any civil liberties Idaho's gay community has. That is what makes him a hypocrite.
Scooter is right--the real tragedy here is that we still live in a nation where the closet--or a public restroom stall--is the safest place many gay men feel they can be.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mike Stewart:
If you'd like to repost your comment without the profanity, it would be most welcome.
Thank you!
Dear webmd blog admin,
Right! We're supposedly talking frankly about sex here, in this case about a Senator soliciting sex in a toilet stall and a couple of slang terms for the for the activities he was allegedly looking to engage in are out of line.
Thanks but no thanks. I can't remember what I said anyway. I'll try not to violate your p.c. code of ethics if I make any further comments. Cheers!
Mike Stewart
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