Email a Friend
Print Article
You say "Vajayjay" and I say "Vagina" ...or would that be "Vulva"?
I am a member of a professional organization called The International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH). During this last week I've been following a lively dialogue on the ISSWSH Discussion System (list serve) about what women call their genitals. The members are primarily physicians, but I would estimate that about one-quarter are psychotherapists - like me. We're probably near a record number of responses to this topic and it all began with one word - "vajayjay."
Here's a little background on how this discussion got started.
The term "vajayjay" came from an episode of Grey's Anatomy a few seasons back, when Dr. Bailey, the surgery resident, was in labor, and her husband was having surgery after a car accident while hurrying to get to the hospital for the birth of his child. Bailey's male intern, Dr. O'Malley, was in the room with her, helping support her while she pushed. She yelled that she felt the baby was coming and O'Malley moved down to look and see if she was crowning. Bailey screamed at him, "O'Malley! You cannot look at my vajayjay!"
When Oprah Winfrey interviewed the creator of Grey's Anatomy, Shonda Rhimes, about one year ago, she asked Rhimes about the term "vajayjay" and how it came about. Rhimes said that the network censors had told them they were being too anatomically correct too often. There had just been too many "vaginas." And apparently, the censors said that they could not use "vagina" anymore. So the writers began to brainstorm about what word they could use that would get the point across without incurring the wrath of the network censors. And so the term "vajayjay" was born.
Some of my colleagues (from the psychotherapist camp) have made the point that while these cute names may bring a smile, part of our work is to help people become more comfortable and accepting of their own sexuality - and that our language to some degree reflects our level of sexual ease. They explained how they use the slang word and then gradually weave in the clinical word as the discussions go on. (I do this myself.) The client then over time incorporates the clinical word and (we assume) becomes a few small steps closer to integrating sexuality as a healthy part of their whole being. (Of course, there are many other steps that can contribute to sexual health.) And, as one psychotherapist pointed out, "Words are much more than a bunch of letters strung together."
I also noticed that many of the physicians approached this discussion from more of a social health perspective. They were looking for several things: clear communication about the patient's concerns, expediency in problem solving, and ways to enjoy their work (particularly true of some of the female physicians) - and humor played a strong part in that regard. While they weren't there to obstruct sexual self-acceptance, facilitating this generally wasn't as much of a factor for them.
I found myself resonating mostly with the physicians' points of view on this one. And, while I do weave in the non-slang words, whenever clients use specific sexual terms, I often respond to their questions about their needing to apologize for graphic language with, "Don't worry, we use all sorts of words here in this room."
And that's how I see it. All the words are fine. I want to understand what my clients think without their worrying about what sexual word they happen to choose to express themselves. I know that some of my psychoanalytic colleagues would take issue with this, but I've found it tremendously helpful to see it this way. My goal is to help my clients accomplish what brought them to my office - not what I conjure up for them.
Related Topics: Technorati Tags: vajayjay, vagina, Oprah, sex
Here's a little background on how this discussion got started.
The term "vajayjay" came from an episode of Grey's Anatomy a few seasons back, when Dr. Bailey, the surgery resident, was in labor, and her husband was having surgery after a car accident while hurrying to get to the hospital for the birth of his child. Bailey's male intern, Dr. O'Malley, was in the room with her, helping support her while she pushed. She yelled that she felt the baby was coming and O'Malley moved down to look and see if she was crowning. Bailey screamed at him, "O'Malley! You cannot look at my vajayjay!"
When Oprah Winfrey interviewed the creator of Grey's Anatomy, Shonda Rhimes, about one year ago, she asked Rhimes about the term "vajayjay" and how it came about. Rhimes said that the network censors had told them they were being too anatomically correct too often. There had just been too many "vaginas." And apparently, the censors said that they could not use "vagina" anymore. So the writers began to brainstorm about what word they could use that would get the point across without incurring the wrath of the network censors. And so the term "vajayjay" was born.
Some of my colleagues (from the psychotherapist camp) have made the point that while these cute names may bring a smile, part of our work is to help people become more comfortable and accepting of their own sexuality - and that our language to some degree reflects our level of sexual ease. They explained how they use the slang word and then gradually weave in the clinical word as the discussions go on. (I do this myself.) The client then over time incorporates the clinical word and (we assume) becomes a few small steps closer to integrating sexuality as a healthy part of their whole being. (Of course, there are many other steps that can contribute to sexual health.) And, as one psychotherapist pointed out, "Words are much more than a bunch of letters strung together."
I also noticed that many of the physicians approached this discussion from more of a social health perspective. They were looking for several things: clear communication about the patient's concerns, expediency in problem solving, and ways to enjoy their work (particularly true of some of the female physicians) - and humor played a strong part in that regard. While they weren't there to obstruct sexual self-acceptance, facilitating this generally wasn't as much of a factor for them.
I found myself resonating mostly with the physicians' points of view on this one. And, while I do weave in the non-slang words, whenever clients use specific sexual terms, I often respond to their questions about their needing to apologize for graphic language with, "Don't worry, we use all sorts of words here in this room."
And that's how I see it. All the words are fine. I want to understand what my clients think without their worrying about what sexual word they happen to choose to express themselves. I know that some of my psychoanalytic colleagues would take issue with this, but I've found it tremendously helpful to see it this way. My goal is to help my clients accomplish what brought them to my office - not what I conjure up for them.
Related Topics: Technorati Tags: vajayjay, vagina, Oprah, sex
14 Comments:
Ophra's vagina is called "Mengia"! Check your South Park episodes!! :)
I hate to be a vajayjay, but I believe that word originated in an episode of "Scrubs". Elliot said it because she had problems saying medical terms.
Hmm... a quick web search reveals that she said "bajingo", which is kind of along the same lines and also quite satisfying to say.
Then why didnt the anatomists or nomenclature gurus come up with better sounding words....or is it he meaning that came to make thephoenetics boring and antatomical??? Certainly banjinjo sounds so much more phoeneticly "cute" than Vagina..sounds so boring and anatomic. Question is...had banjinjo been the correct anatomical term, would we be saying Vagina sounds cuter than boring banjinjo???
It's so weird to me that it can be unacceptable to say the word "vagina" on a medical show. It's a body part, like a heart or knee or nose. What's the big deal?
To answer my own question: I think our culture is too perverted to have a healthy natural view of our bodies.
Thank You Tina,
I hope it is not that bad. I hope that society isn't that lost and perverted. Again, why were the anatomists so boring when it came to such important anatomy. Imean...come on people...vagina. For example, take ossicle or cochlea or even patella, which is even cute and feminine. Why did not they name a womans vajaja or banjinja a petella instead. It sounds so nice and feminine. Why waste it on a kneecap. Also clitoris...can you get more disgusting. Should have saved jejuneum, and penis should have been the oblongata
Thank you Tina for making a point about scientific accuracy. We sacrifice this all too often in the name of political correctness. Usually, the FCC only censors truly explicit words, not terms commonly used by scientific professionals (unless they are talking about global warming). I am disappointed to see you did not even mention the fact that censoring "vagina" is at the heart of your argument for the need for accurate portrayal of a medical procedure. If censorship was restricted to the "7 Dirty Words" perhaps your patients and fellow psychotherapists may not be so confused. Question: Why are people relying on the TV for accurate information anyways? It is a form of entertainment, not a source of valid scientific information.
Dear anonymous,
Well, your coments are exactly on point concerning censorship and political correctness. Not only do I agree but agree passionately with regard to censorship and political correctness. I believe the day will come when we realize the price we have paid for political correctness. However, your own arguement points out that you have missapplied the principle. In this instance, the sit com isn't doing it for censorship....but for entertainment, exactly as you have alluded to. In this comedy, the writers were concerned that it was boring the viewers. In this context, they were not trying to censor their target audience, but trying to entertain them. This speaks to the other issue that the scientific community has done such a bad job with nomenclature. Such an exciting and intriquing area of our sexual anatomy is given such a boring descriptive name...Come on, I mean the phoenetics of vagina. Could it get worse. Undobtedly, Ms anonomyous, this angers you, but true. The last point that I would make is if you wish to make real progress with regard to a topic as important as political correctness and censorship, you need to be willing to identify yourself. ..Unless, of course, you are the President...but it is too well written.
Paul R. Verrette, MD.
At least 'vajayjay' is close to 'vagina', I heard a grown woman call her vagina 'pooter' and another call it a 'twoofie'. Where do those kinds of non-words come from? I've worked with preschoolers, and they pretty much call it a 'peepee' or a 'vagina'.
Two things:
The fact that the networks said a show about doctors was being too clinical in the words that they used and "vagina" has been used too often, what the hell? It's a show about bodies and medical terms. If a medical show cannot say vagina, then what's next?
I don't mind that women use cutesy terms to describe their bodies if it makes them feel more comfortable, but I do have a problem when Oprah...the perceived most powerful woman in the world, starts a word revolution. Because, words are just letters stung together, but those letters strung together have power. Vajayjay does not have power. The word vagina does.
If grown women having sex, having babies do not feel comfortable saying vagina, then when will they?
By being comfortable with ourselves we empower ourselves and we empower our bodies. We are asking for respect for ourselves and for others.
Cutesy names are fine, but I think they have their place and their time, after awhile we need to grow-up. After all, it's only a vagina. Then again, it's a vagina, not a vajayjay.
Penis, penis, penis, vagina, vagina, vagina. Put on your big girl panties and grow up. Call it whatever you want, it's on your body anyways. Me and my who-haw are going to bed now.
Ms anonomyus,
You are on point with your comments on Oprah...not only with this but other things...Am I the only one that finds her so very hypocritical?
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
I call mine a 'hoo-hoo'. My child goes to a christian daycare (not my idea, btw) and they really get on to the kids for saying penis and vagina. She calls her vagina her 'pee-pee' or her 'nanner'. I don't know where that one came from, but hey, if it's what she's comfortable with, I'm all for it.
Hmm... I am a medical major. referring back to Elliot on Scrubs, I had to come up with my own words to remember all of the correct terminology. as I was growing up, I always referred my vagina back to cooter or coochy. I like vagina, its politically correct. but honestly, isnt it all same by saying "p*ssy" or "c*nt"? same for penis... people always change that back to "d*ck" or "peter". i personally think, whatever floats your boat and you are most comfortable with, will be more than fine.
Post a Comment