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From the Sex Files: Squeaky Beds at Holiday Time
In my therapy office the past week the most frequently discussed topic was sleeping arrangements for the upcoming holidays. We analyzed everything from etiquette to squeaking mattress as my clients contemplated visiting their parents, in-laws and their intended future relatives.
Some folks related that they felt sexually constrained during these visits. No activity would occur for them. Others found that they were stimulated by the naughtiness of doing it under their parents' roof. That also varied. One son-in-law was interested in being "naughty" at his wife's family home, yet another man was the more hesitant party when at his in-laws' home.
We also covered the issue of shared walls during holiday visits. None of my clients were going to face an actual shared wall with parents, but some did have an "upstairs, downstairs" arrangement. We discussed headboards that tap (or bang) the wall and the implied meanings of such transmissions of sound. Some considered it a measure of sexual prowess, but others winced at the intimacy of parents or in-laws hearing their "sexual rhythms."
Mind you, everyone discussing this issue was well over the age of 21. These were not college students still on the dole from their parents. Yet, for some, the stay in their family's homes invoked old and current issues like: parental disapproval of one's choice of mate, repercussions over marital straying known to the family, power struggles about decision making during the visit, concerns about conceiving a child, and sharing one's mate with the holiday hosts.
I did remind several people that their parents might well be concerned about their sexual privacy and that this street runs both ways. And, while these folks could acknowledge that their parents did have sex by virtue of their own existence, it was a thought that they tended to banish quite quickly.
Related Topics: Technorati Tags: sex, squeky beds, holidays, Christmas
Some folks related that they felt sexually constrained during these visits. No activity would occur for them. Others found that they were stimulated by the naughtiness of doing it under their parents' roof. That also varied. One son-in-law was interested in being "naughty" at his wife's family home, yet another man was the more hesitant party when at his in-laws' home.
We also covered the issue of shared walls during holiday visits. None of my clients were going to face an actual shared wall with parents, but some did have an "upstairs, downstairs" arrangement. We discussed headboards that tap (or bang) the wall and the implied meanings of such transmissions of sound. Some considered it a measure of sexual prowess, but others winced at the intimacy of parents or in-laws hearing their "sexual rhythms."
Mind you, everyone discussing this issue was well over the age of 21. These were not college students still on the dole from their parents. Yet, for some, the stay in their family's homes invoked old and current issues like: parental disapproval of one's choice of mate, repercussions over marital straying known to the family, power struggles about decision making during the visit, concerns about conceiving a child, and sharing one's mate with the holiday hosts.
I did remind several people that their parents might well be concerned about their sexual privacy and that this street runs both ways. And, while these folks could acknowledge that their parents did have sex by virtue of their own existence, it was a thought that they tended to banish quite quickly.
Related Topics: Technorati Tags: sex, squeky beds, holidays, Christmas
3 Comments:
Help! I get too wet for sex. Is this a problem? I get so wet I can't feel my husband anymore and I loose the pleasure. I feel embarressed because I know it gets akward with out talking about it but I am left dripping wet and although he has said nothing about it, if I can't feel him, he can't feel me right?
I don't really think your husband cares about your being too wet as long as he's getting the sexual enjoyment he needs.
Ask him when your just having a conversation and don't have the conversation while your in your bedroom, or enjoying an intimate moment, that would be a major turn off.
On a personal, I'd like to have a fraction of your problem. I'm 57 years old and hate using the manufactured lubricants.So to remind you that there are two sides to your concerns which other women are experiencing.
Slip sliding away may be fun, but I have a concern about your not feeling anything. Are you numb, imaging your not feeling anything, or is there another medical concern.
Just be up front with your husband and ask your gynecologits if it's really something you should be concerned with.
I have the same problem, and really, I can't feel anything. Sometimes I wonder if it is even in there. My boyfriend and I have talked about it, and although he still enjoys it, he doesnt feel much either. When we first started being sexual we did it 4-5 times a night because he worked out of town. At this time I didnt have the problem, but the friction was causing horrible pain. We determined that it was my body's way of dealing with all that friction. I don't like it at all and am unable to have an orgasm. I know how you feel. I have searched and searched for something to do, and have found nothing. Please help!!!
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