Penis Size or Prowess: Which Matters More?

Penis size has been mistakenly equated with sexual prowess in our culture. Interestingly, this mistake is made by men more often than by women. Many myths exist about the relationship between penis size and other parts of a man's body, such as feet, nose, and fingers. Jokes about penis size abound but they have no meaning. That's because, simply put, size has little to do with sexual satisfaction or manliness. Yet, it is sometimes difficult to convince some people that this is so.

Some people have thought that large penises are more psychologically arousing than smaller penises. To my knowledge, only one study in 1983 by William Fisher and others (Journal of Sex Research, volume 19) has studied the influence of penis length on sexual arousal. Although the male and female subjects in this study were clearly aroused by the erotic stories they were given to read, there was no relationship between the degree of arousal and the size of the penises described in the stories.

If you want to convince yourself of the sexual importance of large penises, no doubt you could collect a group of sexual partners who were highly attracted to penises of a certain dimension. And, while there's no denying that a turn-on is a turn-on, I have always been amazed at the broad cultural acceptance of the tyranny of size when it comes to penises.

Two things are often forgotten when it comes to heterosexual penile-vaginal intercourse. First, the vagina is a very elastic environment through which a baby can pass, yet it's one that easily retains a tampon. In other words, it snugly accommodates whatever it surrounds. Second, about three-quarters of women don't reach orgasm by intercourse in the "Look, no hands" manner, no matter the size of the inserting object. They need direct clitoral stimulation.

There's a familiar saying, "It's not the meat, it's the motion." This captures the essence of sexual turn-on for both men and women -- unless they're into collecting people merely for their trophy potential. And if that's all there is, the eroticism often wears off pretty quickly.

People who do the following experiment can gain valuable insight. Take several dildos of different sizes and insert them while blindfolded. See if you can detect the difference between five and seven inches (the penile dimensions that include most of mankind).

Many men feel quite content with the size of their penis when erect, but are uncomfortable with it when flaccid. Some of their anxiety might be relieved if they knew the following: penises that appear small when flaccid grow a great deal more in size when erect than those that are larger when flaccid. Sex researchers, Paul Jamison and Paul Gebhard analyzed the Kinsey data on erect and flaccid penises to arrive at this conclusion (Journal of Sex Research, 1988, volume 24). So, in today's language, there are "growers" (those that gain size when erect) and "showers" (those that get erect, but with little change in size).

Many men would also feel less concerned about locker room impressions if they understood that just as a man's sense of smell or his eyesight are not dependent on the size of his nose and eyes, respectively, neither is his sexual capacity based on the size of his genitals.

Still, there may be reason to explore old psychological issues or insults that may influence a man to have concern about penis size. Therapy can be very helpful -- especially if he has feelings that he'd like to change.

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Strange Attempts to Prevent Pregnancy

I once read a magazine article that said that Middle Eastern camel drivers were the inventors of IUDS and that crocodile excrement was used in humans for birth control. I thought this was interesting and decided to do a little research on the subject.

Contraceptive knowledge was spread as folk wisdom through oral tradition, since individuals did not consult physicians for this purpose until modern times. Circumstances of ancient times made communication of this knowledge difficult, but even when knowledge was lacking, the desire to avoid pregnancy was not. Many of the techniques involved potions, body movements, and lockets or carved images - essentially magical folklore.

Humans have been quite creative when it comes to birth control ideas over the centuries. Though some notions we have about this part of history are not well documented, many are.

Putting barriers in the vagina is a very old practice. According to Leon Speroff and Philip Darney, in A Clinical Guide for Contraception (Baltimore: Williams & Wilkins, 1992), references to sponges and plugs appear in the earliest of writings. Substances thought to have either barrier or spermicidal properties (or both) have included honey, alum, spices, oils, tannic acids, lemon juice, and, yes, even crocodile dung. The diaphragm and cervical cap, however, were not invented until the late 1800s.

A frequently told, but not well documented story, assigns the first use of IUDs to caravan drivers who allegedly used intrauterine stones to prevent pregnancies in their camels during long journeys, write Speroff and Darney.

Various chemicals have been used for contraception. The first commercially available spermicidal pessaries in modern times were made in England in 1885 of cocoa butter and quinine sulfite. These or similar materials were used until the 1920s when effervescent tablets which released carbon dioxide and phenyl mercuric acetate were marketed. (Do not try making any concoctions on your own for birth control. Now that so many birth control options exist, there is no reason to take a risk.)

Modern spermicides, introduced in the 1950s, contain agents that damage the sperm cell membranes -- and those of some bacteria and viruses, which explains some of the protection they offer against sexually transmitted diseases. The protection spermicides offer is not complete, so using a condom along with them is the safest way to be protected against contracting these diseases, including AIDS.

Barrier method use was widespread in isolated cultures throughout the world. The Japanese used balls of bamboo paper, Islamic women used willow leaves, and women in some Pacific Islands used seaweed.

Egyptian writings from 1850 B.C. refer to plugs of honey, gum, acacia, and crocodile dung. According to N.E. Himes, in Medical History of Contraception (Baltimore: Williams & Wilkins, 1936), Soranus gave descriptions of 40 concoctions that combined a barrier with spermicidal action.

Mechanical barriers covering the penis have been used for centuries for protection against pregnancy and infection, for decoration, and occasionally to produce penile or vaginal stimulation, according to Robert Hatcher, et al, in Contraceptive Technology (New York: Irvington Publishers, Inc., 1992). A sheath worn over the penis can be traced back as far as 1350 B.C. when Egyptian men wore decorative covers for their penises.

In 1564 A.D., the Italian anatomist Fallopius described the use of linen sheaths. Protective sheaths from animal intestines soon followed. They were the precursors of our current "lambskin" condoms (effective for birth control, but not effective against HIV).

Speroff and Darney state that there are many stories accounting for the origin of the word, condom. Many attribute it to a Dr. Condom, a physician in the 1600s. The most famous story says that Dr. Condom invented the sheath in response to the annoyance displayed by Charles II at the number of his illegitimate children. All attempts to trace this physician have failed, so the origin of the word, condom, has not been proven.

With the creation of vulcanized rubber in the 1840s came the mass production of condoms (or "rubbers") from synthetic materials according to Hatcher. During the 1800s, condoms were available at brothels throughout Europe, but it seems that no culture wanted to claim responsibility for the condom's existence. The French called it "the English cape" and the English called them "French letters."

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Myths About Masturbation

Despite the fact that there is no evidence that masturbation impairs physical or mental health, there are many people who still believe that it's harmful - or worry that it might be.

Masturbation is a natural sexual expression. People in most cultures masturbate. Even many species of animals do. Yet, some people hesitate to do it - even when it might really serve them well during a particular phase of their life.

Despite the fact that many people masturbate throughout their lives, there are still some who believe that masturbation causes insanity, epilepsy, acne, blindness, nosebleeds, warts, uninhibited sexuality, and hair on the palms. And some believe it causes headaches, when it actually can help relieve some types of headaches.

Many sexually healthy people who have available partners masturbate as additional gratification. Partnered sex and masturbation should be viewed as complementary sexual experiences, not as mutually exclusive.

Masturbation can be a very good way to learn about one's own body - particularly because it can help with communication of knowledge to a partner. Many women learn to have their first orgasm through masturbation. So, rather than being a substitute for partner sex, it can be a supportive path to having better sex with one's mate.

Masturbation is not for the "simple minded," the antisocial, or the immature. It is not something one must give up after their teen years. And, it can certainly amplify the sexual possibilities as people age or encounter physical limitations due to health conditions.

Much attention is given to people who currently masturbate "too much." While it's certainly true that the Internet has given many people more access to more visual stimulation, there are millions of people who use that imagery without destroying their lives - we just don't talk about them much because there's no problem.

Our culture has individuals who overdo many things. Part of responsible sexual education involves learning moderation and how to fit activities into one's life without destroying other parts of it. That includes masturbation.

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