End of Year Reflections: Part 3 -- Hospice Options
The kids were up at 7:30 and the presents were all opened by 8:15! Their playing began and I slipped out to see my mom. We ate lunch together and she opened the presents that I had wondered if she would even get to see. She was happy to be back home among her things and somewhat familiar faces. (I have often said that the one good thing about Alzheimer's is that you're always meeting new people!)
One of the staff, knowing what I do for work, stopped in and said, "May I ask you a question?" I said, "Anyone who works on Christmas Day helping take care of my mother can definitely ask me a question." We then discussed why she was unable to have an orgasm with her new husband and how she could keep up with his level of desire for sex.
Our extended family spent time together again. The kids played with their new Wii, we ate, then we all played Charades, and we eventually called it a night.
The next day, a case manager nurse from the hospital called and said that she had reviewed my mother's discharge. She had brought her case to the medical director's attention and they both felt that my mom should qualify for hospice. So, was this good news or bad news? I wasn't sure how to hold this in my mind.
I said, "We were already turned down for hospice. Why are we being considered again?" Well, it turned out that there are "for profit" hospice organizations and "not for profit" hospice organizations. The first one had been "for profit" and apparently did not want to risk betting that my mother would be dead in six months. Since this was my first contact with a hospice type circumstance, I had no idea that there were different types of organizations within the industry. Now I know.
As it turns out, it's probably a pretty good thing that I have begun my hospice education (which, by the way, seems like a wonderful service for those "in need"). My mother-in-law entered the hospital last night with new problems. Her cancer apparently has metastasized. All the out-of-town siblings are on jets or are already home. That means my husband and I are now on double duty as medical advocates for our moms. What does that mean for sex? That means -- not much.
Related Topics:
Technorati Tags: family, aging, Alzheimers, hospice
One of the staff, knowing what I do for work, stopped in and said, "May I ask you a question?" I said, "Anyone who works on Christmas Day helping take care of my mother can definitely ask me a question." We then discussed why she was unable to have an orgasm with her new husband and how she could keep up with his level of desire for sex.
Our extended family spent time together again. The kids played with their new Wii, we ate, then we all played Charades, and we eventually called it a night.
The next day, a case manager nurse from the hospital called and said that she had reviewed my mother's discharge. She had brought her case to the medical director's attention and they both felt that my mom should qualify for hospice. So, was this good news or bad news? I wasn't sure how to hold this in my mind.
I said, "We were already turned down for hospice. Why are we being considered again?" Well, it turned out that there are "for profit" hospice organizations and "not for profit" hospice organizations. The first one had been "for profit" and apparently did not want to risk betting that my mother would be dead in six months. Since this was my first contact with a hospice type circumstance, I had no idea that there were different types of organizations within the industry. Now I know.
As it turns out, it's probably a pretty good thing that I have begun my hospice education (which, by the way, seems like a wonderful service for those "in need"). My mother-in-law entered the hospital last night with new problems. Her cancer apparently has metastasized. All the out-of-town siblings are on jets or are already home. That means my husband and I are now on double duty as medical advocates for our moms. What does that mean for sex? That means -- not much.
Related Topics:
Technorati Tags: family, aging, Alzheimers, hospice
2 Comments:
Hello -
I just read your article end-of-life decisions and hospice. Thank you.
I wanted to let you know I am a professional documentary maker and hospice volunteer in Atlanta, Georgia.
I've produced a short documentary about end-of- life decision making, palliative care, caregiving and hospice.
It's called 203 Days.
You can view it in its entirety at the following University of Connecticut website along with a study guide.
It is an unflinching look at the day-to-day interactions between patient and caregiver, in this case an 89 year old woman who is living with her daughter.
http://fitsweb.uchc.edu/Days/days.html
203 Days just won the First Place 2007 Film Award from the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO).
If you'd like more information please go to my website
http://bbarash.com/bb_203days.htm
I hope this film is helpful to people who want to know more about some of the most common experiences for caregiver and patient at this difficult time.
Bailey Barash
Profit vs. Non-Profit continues to be a debate. The Medicare rules are clear that if a physician believes that a person may die within the next six months if the disease follows it's normal course, then the person qualifies for hospice services.
Alzheimer's has some pretty stringent rulings about what would constitute an appropriate hospice admission.
Just wondering? Does the hospital case manager nurse that called you also own a hospice?
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