MTV Wants a Sex Therapist

Last week a male colleague forwarded me an email that was looking to generate candidates to fill a media position. He thought I fit the description and knew of my experience on camera and on radio. Here are excerpts of what it said:

I'm a casting producer working on an honest and eye-opening new television project about sex and relationships for MTV Networks. MTV is now on a nationwide search for a recognized specialist to moderate a new series that gives parents and children the confidence to talk about relationships, sex and contraception together. The program hopes to create an open dialogue for topics that are never easy to discuss for millions of Americans. This series is designed to foster communication within families by tackling the hardest topic of all with the help of the expert.

In each episode, the expert and one family will work through their issues through group assignments and open, frank discussion. The hope is that the more families talk openly about sex, the more supportive and honest they can be in other areas of their lives. We are specifically looking for a "Dr. Ruth" type.

We're looking to speak with women (in their 50s and up) who are recognized experts in the field of sexuality issues. Candidates can be either practicing therapists, educators, doctors, authors, etc. or retired. We'd like to find women considered to be thought leaders in the field.

We're searching for an expert that is able to facilitate, in a frank, direct, no-nonsense way, discussions about sex, as well as, help design family activities and homework that will promote further conversations.

I immediately replied to my colleague and thanked him for thinking of me, but that I could not throw my hat in the ring right now. As I did this, I commented out loud to my husband in our home office that I'd just received an interesting email. He said, "Forward it to me at my desk."

A few minutes later, he read it and said, "Do you think that you might be interested in that?" I said, "No." He said, "But for the Dr. Ruth part, that's a description of you." (Even when Dr. Ruth is having a "tall day," I've got thirteen inches on her - and no accent.) I said, "Yeah, I know, but I could never be away from the kids that much - and I don't think that we'd like it much either. It's likely to shoot in New York or LA." He said, "Yeah, you're right." And that was that.

Yesterday I happened to read a letter to an editor in a national magazine from a woman who commented that she was surprised that a new host on The View was going to take the job even though that meant that she would be away from her young child to do so. I thought to myself, "I'm with you on that. What is she thinking?"

I realized that not everyone derives the same pleasure and meaning from parenting in a day-to-day manner. I also realized that not everyone derives the same pleasure and meaning from being on TV and somewhat famous. I also realized that I was so clearly in one camp and not the other that I didn't even need to consult my husband before rejecting the idea of a job that separated me from my family. I don't want to be designing "family activities" for any family except my own.

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