Love is the hardest addiction to quit.

by Stanton Peele, PhD, author of 7 Tools to Beat Addiction, and Psychology Today’s Addiction in Society blog.

We often warn people about addictions, those destructive habits that are hard to quit. In recent years, the term addiction has been applied beyond drugs and alcohol, and even cigarettes, to behaviors ranging from shopping to sex. I have also written about love relationships that can be addictive.

Obviously, I don’t mean all love is addictive – starting with parent-child love and strong marriages. But, as a psychologist and addiction expert, I often encounter destructive intimate relationships. When you speak to a woman who has been abused in a relationship, but refuses to leave, the abused person explains, “I stay because I love him.”

On the other hand, when people leave a marriage or love affair, they often describe the most intense withdrawal, often extending over years. I recently wrote a blog post titled, “The Seven Hardest Addictions to Quit – Love Is the Worst.” One woman responded: “My divorce has left me completely blindsided and affected every aspect of my life. It is something that I have struggled for years to get over and to this day cannot seem to move forward.”

I have heard many similar horrible experiences. As with other addictions, I don’t blame the object of the addiction entirely – I feel people who form such destructive attachments lack something in their core selves that creates the need for the addiction.

Of course, our society romanticizes all sorts of love connections. We need to inform our children – and even many adults – that just because you are strongly attracted to someone does not mean the relationship is a good one.

Read more by Stanton Peele, PhD on Psychology Today’s Addiction in Society blog.

Related Topics:

• Modern Love
• Love on the Brain
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