Is Your Spouse's CPAP Machine Ruining Your Sex Life?

CPAP = Cannot Possibly Act Passionate ?

I can't pass up the opportunity to blog about this recent MSNBC headline: "Do you think I'm sexy? Apnea aid raises doubts."

It's the white elephant in the room. The thing no one wants to notice much less talk about. How does a couple where one person uses a CPAP machine at night get past the "unsexy" factor of the machine to keep the bedroom a romantic spot?

The Continuous Positive Airway Pressure machine, or CPAP, is a device used by people with obstructive sleep apnea who have a problem that causes their airways to collapse during sleep. Their breathing essentially gets cut off multiple times during the night.

With a CPAP, the airway stays open, so breathing is possible. Sleep becomes much more restful and solid. Untreated sufferers of sleep apnea never feel fully rested, which can result in chronic sleep deprivation that can be life-threatening. And last time I checked death is not too sexy.

Many people who participate in the support group at www.sleepapnea.org share very positive remarks about the experience with a CPAP. I think I would, too, if I suddenly got a good night's rest. But there are plenty of detractors out there dying to complain about this device.

The CPAP machine is the best we have right now for treating sleep apnea. It also shuts up the snoring that frequently accompanies that apnea (unsnoring partners listen up: data shows that sleeping with a snoring bed partner makes you lose about 1 hour of sleep!).

But it's no surprise to me that for some couples, the CPAP is derailing romance more than snoring or any other disturbance in the bedroom. There's nothing sexy about being hooked up to a face mask with hoses and whirring sounds that can seem like you're sleeping next to a little motor, or in the case of your partner's CPAP, Darth Vader. This is such a triple-edged sword, though.

According to the National Sleep Foundation, troubles in the bedroom leads three in 10 couples to sleep in separate bedrooms. What's more, about 25 percent of people with partners and 10 percent of singles admit that sleep problems leave them too tired for sex. But what happens when the solutions to sleep problems become a new problem for getting it on? And how can you otherwise solve the sleep problems that also put a damper on sex?

The Solution

My answer (and I don't think this is all that revolutionary): schedule sex before bringing out the CPAP and stop looking for excuses!

Let's get real, I don't think it takes a CPAP machine to kill the moment. There are so many other issues we deal with that can make having a vibrant sex life equally as challenging. How about the hours we put in at work? The late-night TV watching and e-mailing? The kids' distractions?

I believe the number one reason people don't have sex as frequently as they'd like is because they feel too tired. So if the CPAP provides restful sleep, it can save your sex life--you can't have it both ways! You need the CPAP to capture the Zs to deal with your day--and have energy left over at night.

Certainly you can think of a million reasons--other than a CPAP machine--for why you're not feeling randy. You're simply not trying hard enough (no pun intended). Think of CPAP as standing for "can put away promptly." It's not a permanent fixture. It's like a piece of clothing you can take off... just as you would for sex.

Related Topics:

• Sleep Apnea Treatments
• Sex, Intimacy, Sleep Apnea and the CPAP

Technorati Tags: sleep apnea, CPAP, sleep deprivation, sleep disorders, relationships, sexual health, intimacy, couples

This article is cross-posted at Dr. Breus's Blog, The Insomnia Blog.

Are We Sleep Deprived or Not?

When I got back from vacation this week and was brushing up on the headlines I'd missed, this one immediately caught my eye:

"Sleep well: American zombie myths dispelled. Contrary to conventional wisdom, Americans get 8 hours of shut-eye nightly."

The person who penned that headline knew it would cause a stir, at least in my camp.

The article I read online pointed to a new study done by the University of Maryland, indicating that Americans get about 8 hours of sleep a night, and possibly more in recent years.

This data is clearly contrary to what the non-profit National Sleep Foundation reports: that we get only 7 hours nightly or less.

The article also mentions the fact the NSF is funded in part by pharmaceutical companies that make sleep aids, which I think tacitly suggests it may have an interest in reporting sleep deprivation. I don't agree with that remark, but that's beside the point.

So, who is right?

What's the real story? Are we sleep deprived or not?

In all honesty, it's hard to know for sure. Every study that tries to figure this out uses a different method. The Maryland one considered federal data collected via telephone surveys and time-use diaries (records from people who write down how they spend their time each day).

The NSF polls people annually, but it doesn't exactly target the same number or type of people as other studies. It's also done over the course of one year, whereas the Maryland study came from three years of data. Suffice it to say it's nearly impossible to make real comparisons. Apples and oranges.

What shouts out at me, though, is that UM notes that the average amount of sleeping time for adults has increased by about 3 hours per week in the past decade.

8.4 Hours of Sleep Per Night?

Are people really getting 8.4 hours a night, which is what UM suggests? And are we averaging as much sleep nowadays as we did 40 years ago?

I have a hard time believing that, from both a practical perspective and as a practicing sleep doctor who sees more than his fair share of zombies seeking help. Forty years ago we didn't have the Internet, the always-on cell phones, the TV in every room, the 50+ hour work week, working moms as the norm, and the 24/7 markets, convenience stores, and CNN.

Put simply, we didn't have nearly as many excuses to scrimp on sleep. Oh, and let's not forget how far we commute these days. Lots of people trekking into metropolitan areas have to get up before dawn and drive home in the dark to avoid traffic; what kind of sleep do those people get?

Sleep Surveys Can't Do it All

Now, you might wonder, "What's the point"? And you're right: All the sleep surveys in the world won't help you get more and better sleep. That's something you have to do on your own. Sleep surveys point to problems, but they certainly don't solve them. Whether we're a sleep deprived nation or not, if you've got problems with sleep, it's 100 percent for you. You shouldn't care where you fall in the spectrum.

So don't let this last survey keep you up at night. Focus on putting sleep at the top of your list--and aspiring to the 8.4 hours a night that UM says you get.

Related Topics:

• 7 Myths About Sleep
• Sleep Deprivation Stirs Up Emotion

This article is cross-posted at Dr. Breus's Blog, The Insomnia Blog.


Technorati Tags: sleep, sleep deprivation, study, 8 hours sleep

New 2008 Sleep Poll Won't Change Anything

How many of you heard news this week about a new study in our sleepless society? It's been all over the media: the National Sleep Foundation just released its 2008 Poll showing just how bad our sleep deprivation is getting.

Americans spend about 9.5 hours a day cranking it out on the job and then an additional 4.5 hours of work at home. No wonder 32 percent of those surveyed say they only get a good night's sleep a few nights per month.

A full sixty-five percent of us report experiencing a sleep problem, such as difficulty falling asleep, waking during the night, and waking feeling unrefreshed at least a few times each week; and nearly half of those people admit to having that sleep problem almost every night.

So it's also no surprise that this is having a huge impact in our professional and personal lives.

We are falling asleep at work, nodding off ever so slightly while driving (yikes!), and losing interest in fun, pleasurable activities like sex. (Hey, if both partners are over-tired, at least there is no argument.)

This study should not have been too alarming. Anecdotal evidence alone proves it to be spot on. And the results are very similar to previous polls taken by the Foundation.

But we're not learning how to prioritize sleep and do something about it.

I regret that this Poll's impact, however big or small, it has had on people this week won't last. You'll read about it, think about it for a second, and then go back to doing what you've always been doing: too much. You say you're juggling this and that, but does sleep even get included on that list?

How can we change this? When will we see evidence that people are claiming back their sleep, as well as their energy, youthful looks, sex lives, waistlines (yes, sleep does have a huge say in how many spare tires you carry around), wit, memories, and ability to learn new things?

Sleep plays an important role in all these things, but clearly no one is listening to the message. Just like no one is doing much to lose unhealthy weight and get into shape for the sake of a better, more fulfilling life.

As a society that prefers productivity over everything else, we are sadly moving toward being a fat, unfit, tired, and cranky nation. Will this ultimately affect our economy and global competitiveness? It wouldn't surprise me. There must be a breaking point above which "productivity" halts because there's only so much Starbucks the body can take.

The sad part about all this is that unlike other feats in our lives, gaining restful sleep - even if you've got insomnia or some other sleep disorder - is relatively easy to achieve with a few good habits. Good habits, though, are few and far between these days. And I'm not being a cynic. I'm being a (well-rested) realist.

Related Topics:

• Americans Working Late, Sleeping Less
• Is Your Life Running You Ragged?

Technorati Tags: sleep deprivation, National Sleep Foundation, insomnia, health and wellness

6 Minutes to a Sharper Memory?

We know now that restful sleep helps us to consolidate our memories, among other great things it does for us. And we also know that naps can have similar, albeit smaller-scale benefits. But a "nap" is generally thought of as being either a 20-minute "power" version or a longer one that allows you to go through a full cycle of sleep (through all the 4 stages, not just the first two). Or is it?

News flash: you can really benefit from a mini, 6-minute nap.

In a new study just published, German researchers have shown that if you nap just six itty-bitty minutes during the day, it will not only make you feel better but will also improve your ability to learn and remember.

Sounds like a new fad diet, doesn't it? But rather than the slogan "slim in 6," we can say "sharper in 6." And unlike a diet that takes so much effort with no guarantees, this is quite real and can help everyone.

Here's how the scientists at the University of Düsseldorf figured it out:

First, they asked university students to memorize a list of 30 words. Afterwards, the participants were either allowed to play a video game or to take a nap in a quiet room. The napping times were varied, though. Some students were allowed to take a 50-minute nap, whereas others were took 35-minute and 6-minute naps.

When researchers compared the groups, they found that nap takers consistently remembered more words. On average, those who napped for six minutes remembered one word more than the video game players, while people taking the longer naps remembered two words more.

The fascinating finding here--and the reasons for how six minutes can be so meaningful--is that most of the memory improvement is linked to changes in the brain that happen right when you start to doze off. And these changes remain active for a certain time period, even if your sleep is disrupted and you wake up shortly thereafter.

With this kind of news, don't you wish you could bottle up a 6-minute nap and stick a label on it that says: "6 Minutes to More Memory!" Maybe it would trump the ginkgo biloba market, a popular herbal supplement for "improving memory."

In fact, I think you'd be rich. Too bad there's no such thing as a bottled nap. Well, unless you consider the ingredients you need to have a good one:

• A quiet, safe, and comfortable place that's free of phones, loud noises, disruptive people, and direct sunlight.
• A light blanket to keep you warm since your body temp will take a dip.
• A small alarm clock or wristwatch alarm you can set.

Avoid napping past 3 p.m., and watch what you eat and drink beforehand. Anything high in fat, sugar, caffeine or other stimulants can interrupt your sleep. Go for calcium and protein within two hours of nap time.  Once your nap is over, get up and walk outside if possible, as this will help wake up fully and set your body's internal "clock" on schedule.

Think about it: every day you have the opportunity to become a better, sharper you, ready to learn new things quickly and take onchallenges in just 6 minutes.

Oh, but don't get too excited if you're sleep deprived. In other words, don't try to make up for lost sleep with those 6 minutes. They are the bonus 6 minutes after your good night's sleep. So sleep tight first, and practice the art of napping second.

Related Topics:

• WebMD Video: The Benefits of Napping
• Instant Energizers

This article is cross-posted at Dr. Breus's Blog, The Insomnia Blog.

Technorati Tags: Sleep Doctor, naps, memory, health