The Biggest Loser--Couples: Pride Goes Before the Fall
And evidently, before the tattoo! Last night we watched four grown men go from macho-frat-boys in Vegas, to sniveling-melodramatic-wrecks in just two hours. What does any of this have to do with serious exercise and weight loss? Absolutely nothing. Which is the biggest problem with The Biggest Loser.Last week the younger of the brother duo on Bob's blue team, Jay, was the biggest loser of the week. He took the customary walk up the mountain to find the three envelopes awaiting his choice, and he chose envelope three, which held a card that read "Vegas, Baby, Vegas". He quickly learned that he had won an overnight to Vegas for his entire team. The news was a welcome and surprising gift, until Bob rained on their parade, wishing he could stop them. He was afraid, of course, of all-you-can-eat buffets, being away from the gym and losing focus. The whole show has lost focus, so they might as well be in Vegas!
Anyway, in their usual style, the blue team talked, determined to stay on course and to win the weigh-in again, regardless of the temptations in Vegas; after all, they had kicked some serious butt last week, and that was after spending an entire week at home. They were not worried, simply looking forward to a boy's overnight. Unfortunately, we had to go along for the ride.
Side note: Why did we have to listen to Dan playing the guitar and singing? We get that he is the young, long-haired, Dan-cam-toting dude. But spare us the musical interludes, please? We have enough to endure.
Dressed like the gentlemen of Ocean's Eleven (courtesy of the suits provided by Bob), the four members of the blue team strode handily from gym, to casino, to healthy meals to the tattoo parlor. Tattoo parlor? Each of the team members got a tattoo featuring the word, "Pride", which is what they all shout after placing their hands together, one atop the other, in their unified pre-and-post challenge rallying cry. Full of bravado and male bonding, we watched as the four team members permanently etched their skin. Bob, you no doubt have noticed, is covered in tattoos. We're guessing this is the point at which Jackie is actually pleased she got eliminated from the team.Long story short. They had a blast in Vegas, and came back to the ranch and won the challenge, which was all about brute strength, which to us is enormously unfair at this point. The black team is made up of three women and Bernie, who is a small (by these standards) man. The blue team is four big guys. Last night's challenge was a snap for the blue team and each team member won a trip for two to Puerto Rico. First Vegas, now Puerto Rico. This team was pumped. Dan described them as "unstoppable." Until the weigh-in, that is.
Jillian's black team had worked very hard all week in hopes of increasing their numbers at the weigh-in. They did not want to have anyone eliminated, because they already feel fairly disadvantaged by the difference in the physicality of the teams. Women have a much harder time losing weight, and their numbers demonstrate that week after week. But Jillian pushed them very, very hard and it paid off. The black team won, and Mark, the central figure of the blue team, the older brother and devious game-player, lost only one pound. Oops. Maybe not so unstoppable after all.
Roger reminded Mark that he had promised to leave voluntarily if he hit a wall with his weight loss. Mark fought back, trying to wiggle out of that commitment, but in the end, he had a crisis of conscience and told everyone, including his brother, to vote him off. To say that the last twenty minutes of the show was unbearable is an understatement. Crying, hugging, vowing eternal brotherhood, more crying, long and dramatic speeches. And then it was over. And Mark was gone. Leaving Brittany and Bernie of the black team, the only intact team from the beginning. And they are the two that were strangers when it all began.
- How will Jay do without his overbearing older brother?
- Will the blue team regret those tattoos?
- Will Mark come back the winner of the voted-off biggest loser competition?
- Will Dan actually learn to play guitar?
- Will we care about any of this?!
We still cheer for the contestants and their accomplishments. And while Mark has never been our favorite, he has demonstrated the greatest change physically and his determination will no doubt carry him further on his weight loss path. We wish them all luck.
But we long for a simpler time. When the show was an hour. When the focus was weight loss and how best to achieve it. When the contestants cheered for each other rather than conspired to "play the game" only to win the money and the weekly prizes. When Bob and Jillian were trainers, exempt from the melodrama.
Sigh. What's been lost from this show is more than weight; it's lost its soul.
(c) Photos courtesy NBC Universal.
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