Of all the things that having ankylosing spondylitis has taught me, this might have been the hardest lesson for me to learn. Asking for help has never been easy for me. I have always had the mindset that it was just easier to do it myself rather than ask for help. Unfortunately, when I was diagnosed, this mindset continued. I suffered in silence for years thinking I could just power through it.
Support comes in all forms. It can be as simple as having someone that you can talk to about everything and nothing at the same time. Someone that understands that you may just need to vent. It can be having someone that you can laugh with. I have a friend that knows when I’m hurting because I flood his texts with stupid memes! LOL!
Sometimes it’s needing help with household chores. You would be surprised at the number of people willing to help if they were just asked. It doesn’t have to be big a chore either. Doing something as simple as picking up your groceries if you can’t get around can be a huge help. I’m sure you would do the same for them if the situation was reversed.
Online is a great place to find support, too. I have met a lot of people I now call friends on social media. There are groups that are just for people with ankylosing spondylitis. This gives them a unique perspective on things. Most of these groups are private. Meaning no one outside the group can see what you are posting. It’s a great place for me to ask questions that I may not want my friends to see.
If you are struggling with depression, you should seek out professional help. There are even online doctors you can talk to. It’s important for you to take care of your mental health. The first step is always the hardest, but it is the most important. Your mental health affects your physical health more than you realize. Your mental health can have an effect on others around you as well.
I know it’s hard asking for help. I still struggle with it every day. There are days where I just want to stay curled up under the covers. Those are the days I need support the most. Give your friends a chance to be friends. You will be surprised how much better you will feel.
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