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1 Easy Way to Revive Your Relationship

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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD - Blogs
By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhDPsychologistJune 18, 2015
From the WebMD Archives

How often do you hug your partner? Many couples aren’t conscious of how frequently they hug (or don’t). But physical touch is a key way couples stay connected. So if you’re looking for ways to revive your relationship, “conscious hugging” can be an easy place to start.

Start by making it a point to hug your partner with loving intention each day. Try hugging your partner “just because” – just because you appreciate something they’ve done; or just because you are reflecting on positive memories; or just because it feels good to be together. Many people find it natural to hug upon saying hello and good-bye. Be mindful, though, that hugging can become an emotionless routine; or even an obligation. So, it’s important to bring your heart into the action.

When you hug, choose to block out all distractions. Bring to mind your partner’s positive qualities. Think about what you respect and appreciate about your partner. You might even want to silently repeat loving thoughts that you really connect with, such as “I really do love you”; “I’m fortunate to have you in my life”; or, “You are a wonderful person.” By doing this silently, you are able to focus on generating warmth within yourself rather than on making your partner happy. If you want, let them know your thoughts after you really feel the love.

Though the above practice is simple, it can be a powerful way to help keep your relationship alive.

Entries for the Relationships blog are for general educational purposes only. They may or may not be relevant for your particular situation; and they should not be relied upon as a substitute for individual professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.

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About the Author
Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD

Dr. Becker-Phelps is a licensed psychologist in NJ and NY, and is on staff at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital, Somerset. She is dedicated to helping people understand themselves and what they need to do to become emotionally and psychologically healthy. She accomplishes this through her work as a psychotherapist, speaker and writer. She is the author of Bouncing Back from Rejection and Insecure in Love.

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