WebMD BlogsRelationships

Why You Should Embrace Your Good Qualities

woman with arms raised
Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD - Blogs
By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhDPsychologistFebruary 13, 2019
From the WebMD Archives

Do you feel uneasy focusing your accomplishments? If you do, you are not alone. Like many people, you may shy away from thinking about or sharing the positive aspects of yourself. Instead, you focus on your flaws, mistakes, or anything in yourself that you believe needs to be fixed. As a result, you feel bad about yourself, which also keeps you from fully enjoying your relationships. So, while there is a place for acknowledging and learning from your weaknesses or errors, there is also a place for appreciating the good in yourself.

If you are concerned about being vain or conceited, it is important to know that even people with great humility can feel positively about themselves. Those who are humble and self-assured appreciate their strengths while not overblowing them or having to announce them to the world. You can do this, too, by keeping your strengths or accomplishments in perspective – as experiences to feel good about, but also as part of a humanly imperfect package.

By feeling free to embrace your positives, you will share them more with other people; enabling you both to enjoy the good feelings and other benefits. For instance, if you are open about how you enjoy – and have a flair for – decorating, a friend might ask you to help them decorate their new apartment. Then you can enjoy planning and shopping together, which can also be personally rewarding.

Three steps to appreciating the ‘good stuff’ in you:

Remember the good stuff. Think back on times when you were at your best in some way. You may have been kind to someone who needed it, or achieved some hard-won accomplishment.

Remind yourself that you embody that good stuff. Rather than dismissing the good you see in yourself as unimportant or an anomaly, embrace it. Remind yourself that this is part of what makes up the “real” you.  

Carry the good stuff into your current life. Once you are aware of positives in yourself, reflect on them regularly. You can do this simply by thinking, I am good at that or I am a good friend. Also, look for ways to live your values and positive traits every day.

By following these steps, you can live up to your “good” self – the one that you carry within. You will find that you feel more fulfilled when you do this. Also, as your inner self flourishes, your relationships with other people will bloom.

WebMD Blog
© 2019 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.
Blog Topics:
About the Author
Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD

Dr. Becker-Phelps is a licensed psychologist in NJ and NY, and is on staff at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital, Somerset. She is dedicated to helping people understand themselves and what they need to do to become emotionally and psychologically healthy. She accomplishes this through her work as a psychotherapist, speaker and writer. She is the author of Bouncing Back from Rejection and Insecure in Love.

More from the Relationships Blog

  • giving advice

    Think Twice Before You Give Advice

    If only we were as good at solving our own problems as we are at solving other people’s. But like so many great ideas, our solutions for others often become less perfect the more we learn about the problem ...

  • photo of couple arguing in bed

    How to Keep Your Emotions From Overwhelming You

    If you’re someone who gets emotionally overwhelmed, relationship conflict can be difficult to manage. When you get upset with your partner, you don’t handle it well. You are too upset to think clearly. So you ...

View all posts on Relationships

Latest Blog Posts on WebMD

View all blog posts

Important: The opinions expressed in WebMD Blogs are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. Blogs are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service or treatment.

Do not consider WebMD Blogs as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.

Read More